Tuesday, December 30

COLIC STRIKES

Yup! Mr. Ace's 1AM-4AM nightly routine freak-outs have been diagnosed as Colic.

What is Colic? Inconsolable fussiness/ crying/ screaming... it can be related to gas, it's mostly him freaking out & fussing soo much that he wears himself out and the exhaustion is so extreme he can't fall asleep so he just continues to wail his scream face off.

Colic (as defined by my doctor) means after a while even the most loving parent will lose their shit & need someone ANYONE else to take the baby.

I have been awake since yesterday. I never went to sleep. My parents came over & he started up at like 5.... in the afternoon (yeah that's abnormally early)... I took a 2 hour nap. that's all folks. Apparently Colic is extremely common in the first born male & it comes on usually around 3 weeks of age (He'll be 3 weeks Thursday)... It can last normally around 3 weeks. It has been going on for approximately 4-5 days or shall I say nights... So! 2.3 weeks left of madness ****cross your fingers***.

Ace's colic seems to be a double whammy version. He's developed into having 1 freak out around 7/8-ish. This eventually can be consoled into a nap that he takes until 10:30/11PM, then he wakes up and eats and goes back down for a small amount of time. After that it's eyes wide open! He will eventually calm down and will need to be held while he lightly slumbers. It's sad that one of his cutest times as a baby will be spent with me pulling my hair out. He's still super adorable & he's angelic during the day.

Right now he's enjoying his rainforest chair. OOOPs no longer enjoying....

that's all folks- mommy blog time is up!

hope all is well perhaps 3 more weeks 'til next update!! :(

Monday, December 22

Sleeping Babies


Ace has been an interesting sleeper. Joe & I are conducting sleep experiments, meaning keep baby awake... cluster feed baby before bed, let him sleep all the time and don't leave the apartment. Lock our doors and don't let anyone in....

So far: letting him be at peace and shutting out all of our wonderfully supportive friends from visiting has been the only thing that has worked. Apparently my Mr. Baby gets overstimulated by all the commotion of the outside world (be it going out to dinner, going to Lowe's... or having a trip to the grocery store) and also by tons of loud chit chatter and hand offs/snuggles & lovin'.

He is up all night if we keep him in company of many others during the day. If we chill out he wakes to sleep and be changed and is easy back to bed.

How do you live life & keep friends? You have really great understanding friends... and you leave the apartment in shifts. Only thing we can do is be patient and give him lots of love! I will say it is a challenge to have a newborn baby, but nothing unexpected. Nursing for 2 hours at 4 AM can get you to want to rip your hair out! I don't suggest trying it.

Anyhoo. My little prince is asleep and has had a fairly relaxing day so! I am crossing my fingers for a successful sleeping night.

He is the most wonderful joy in the world & I love him with my entire heart. I cannot imagine life without him in it!

Cinnamon Bear









Ace is my little cinnamon bear! The resemblance is uncanny.

Sunday, December 21

BABY LOVES LOVE!

My wonderful little baby is doing a good job at napping!

He works hard to sleep!

Other new things:

His umbilical cord fell off and went....? Somewhere! Afraid I'll find the cats chewing on it somewhere...but perhaps it'll be more like losing a sock in the dryer... it'll just never show up.

He makes cute noises and has the cutest lil' nose in the entire world.

Here's a new picture!

Check my Flickr page for MORE!

Thursday, December 18

1 WEEK OLD


At 5:48 Ace Maxwell will be 1 week old!

Sing him a happy song & he'll love you forever!!!

Monday, December 15

Slow to Update!


Hello All!

Welcome Ace Maxwell Stewart!

Born Thursday December 11th, 2008 5:48 PM. He weighed 8 pounds 13 ounces, 21 1/4" long & has beautiful red hair!

I labored for 36 hours naturally before my contractions felt strong but weren't dialating me any more than 6 centimeters. I then took an epidural, pitocin (artificial oxytocin hormone) I was hooked up to a cathedar, a uterine monitor, the baby was hooked up to a monitor (by a screw thing in the head)....!! After 4 hours of false contractions I still did not dialate, my cervix became swollen & Ace started being non-responsive to scalp stimulation. From there I was put into the OR for an emergency c-section. The epidural gave me intense shakes, I was sick as a dog & barfed my brains out. Barf which I wore in my hair until the second day of healing when I could bathe!

Joe and I shared tears of intense love & joy as we heard the first girgly cries of our sweet baby boy. He has healthy lungs!!!!!!!!! They sewed me up for another 25 minutes, Joe saw my guts!

Ace and I spent 4 nights at the hospital and are finally home! I am so happy that I had such a gifted surgeon for my OB/GYN DR. GANZ ROCKS!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 10

15 Hours In & still waiting

Hey All!

I'm contracting & still laboring at home. The contractions were consistently 40 seconds long coming every 7-10 minutes for the first 10 hours. They slowed down when I went grocery shopping with Joe at Fairway- yay yummy cheese! I attempted a nap enduring contractions every 7 minutes for 1 minute at a time. After I got up I took a bath- totally awesome! THEN! I started contracting within 4 minutes for about 50 seconds at a time with more intense pain. I decided a walk would really get stuff going so Joe and I embarked on a lovely neighborhood jaunt. I started contracting every 3 minutes waddling around and probably alarming whatever weirdos were on the street.

When I got back upstairs... things got funky. I stopped contracting intensely and went to 1 minute contraction 8 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart to a now steady 5 and a half minutes apart working my way down to under 5 with a little more intense pain.

feeling groovy! It is not abnormal to be in the early stages of labor for 18 hours. Some people go for DAYS! So! We'll see what the future of december 10th holds for us all!

Stay Tuned!

Labor Day

This is it! The moment I've been waiting for, for 40 weeks and 5 days.

Ace has decided to make his debut apparently.

I woke up at 4:30 with butt pain.... yes! My butt! Like i had a piece of glass I needed to poop out. This was followed by a 30 second contraction. I tried to go back to sleep, but it didn't work. Joe had no problem falling asleep however.

So that's it. I'm in labor it's almost 8 o'clock, and will blog maybe again later... maybe.

Please be conscious of the fact that I'm in labor, it hurts and I'm probably being bitchy. Joe and I own expensive phones I don't want to have to replace so please try not to call and text message repeatedly. Try using our emails as we both receive that on our phone without obnoxious alerts dings vibrates and whistles. Though I could turn these off I'm not going to unless I somehow actually do want to conversate... Not sure how I'm going to be feeling yet.

Monday, December 8

4 Days Past Due

And losing it.

Went to the hospital today.

I thought my water broke in J&L Video Game Store in Chinatown.

Apparently it didn't, what did dislodge itself was a lot of mucus and gooey grossness.

I was put under monitors for over an hour. I apparently am having mild contractions about every 6-7 minutes. I'm still only 1 centimeter dialated (which is super lame). The contractions have not increased in the last 5 hours making me think that I am very much not in labor. This totally blows ass.

The baby weighs an estimated 8 pounds and 13 ounces. The doctor is concerned with his size compared to the size of Joe and Me. He has ordered that I come into the hospital tomorrow morning at 9 AM after fasting from midnight tonight & take a 3 hour sugar test to see if I have developed diabetes.

I think the only thing I've developed is a healthy boy baby. I really don't want to go into the hospital again tomorrow morning. I don't want to be pregnant anymore. I want to be in severe pain and agony & labor.

I don't think that's too much to ask.

Saturday, December 6

1 Day Past Due


WAITING WAITING WAITING WAITING
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WAITING WAITING WAITING WAITING

Friday, December 5

Hopes


I hope that Ace is as cool as Steve Zissou.

DUE DATE


It is finally here!

DECEMBER 5th! Something is missing.......................!

He's very big and very very much still in there! We'll see what the day brings!

COME OUT ACE!

Thursday, December 4

Oh Christmas Tree




There it is! Needs a little bit more flare. The season has just begun! Can't wait to hang up stockings!!!!

Dear Ace,

Your Dad is tired of working and would like to take his paternity leave soon. Your Mom's back hurts really bad because you are so big! Your doctor is going to induce your Mommy in 10 days if you don't hurry and come out.

Not trying to harsh your mellow, but could you please come out of there? It has been fun co-existing with you for these last 40 weeks. We went to Mexico & London, we made 2 visits to see our family in Oregon, we saw your Uncle Bunny's band. You have eaten more Vietnamese cuisine than most grown white men have consumed in their life. The amount of Cocoa Pebbles (Choco-Dyno Bites), Fruit Loops, Chex, Life, Peanut Butter Chocolate Pops Cereals, & Salami Mommy sandwiches that have gotten us through the last 40 pounds... would gag any normal human being, even Rosie O'donnell. We threw Daddy a fabulous 30th birthday party (though not everyone knew you were there with us).

Your crib is set up, your clothes are washed and folded. Your stuffed animals are waiting to be your best friends! Your first outfit has been picked out and carefully arranged & re-arranged in your new diaper bag that your loving aunts and uncles clayton, frances, diana,& brett bought for you! The kitties have even been trained to not jump in your crib! Your first christmas tree has been decorated and your first christmas presents are sitting underneath it.

I would say that we are all ready for you!!!! Are you ready for us? Please let me know soon, I've been waiting a very long time to meet you!

Love,
Mommy

Wednesday, December 3

2 more days




Today is Wednesday. 2 more days.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& It's also my friends Frances & Clayton's 2 year anniversary! WOW!

2 is definitely the number of the day!

It's also apparently Ozzie's birthday.

Emotional Christmas


I am fighting back the tears while watching Elf. Christmas movies make me very emotional apparently. I'll be crying if I don't have this baby soon. I threw another tantrum last night around 3 am when the baby woke me up kicking me in the ribs, not exactly the type of pain I was hoping to wake up with.

Tuesday, December 2

3 days


Thought something was going on today, felt a lot of stuff..... just baby moving around I suppose.

Ran up and down the stairs doing laundry... cleaned- apparently not enough to get this kiddo in gear to come out. I swear he grew over night again. Doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon- we'll see if anything has changed.

FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE

Sunday, November 30

Countdown Update


FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS
FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS
FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS
FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS
FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS
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FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS
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FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS

Space Crib


Currently filled with hospital bags & tin foil to teach the cats a lesson- THIS CRIB NEEDS TO BE FILLED WITH BABY!

COME OUT- NOW!

(He can't read yet, this is no use)...

Wednesday, November 26

Single Digits

That's right! No more double digit we're down to single digit days! oh boy oh boy oh boy!


9 more days

Monday, November 24

Pray for bullshit!


I hope that astrologers are full of crap:

"people born under the sign of Sagittarius usually have a large and well-shaped skull, a high, broad forehead, a slender and well formed figure."

38 Weeks & 3 Days

Here it is: My Massiveness! That's a 7 1/2 pound baby right there!

BAD NAME


Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz had a baby boy and named him Bronx Mogli Wentz.

Anyone who bitched about Franc Cowboy Stewart, can kiss my ass! These whities have never been to the bronx (and can't imagine they ever will).... otherwise they'd be too afraid to name their kid that! and Mogli- disney character/ jungle book main character! WHOA!

So Ace Royal Stewart is an f-ing fantastic name. It's seriously awesome. No complaining from anyone! Just remember I could've named him Manhattan Mickey Mouse Stewart.

poop


poop poop poop.

Sunday, November 23

38 Weeks, 2 days & Counting....

Playing the waiting game. My next doctor appointment is 2 days before the due date. (Due date December 5th). By then little Ace could weigh 8.5 pounds. good lord.

WHEN LORD? WHEN BE MY TIME?

I'm going bonkers.

Wednesday, November 19

ALERT THE PRESS!


I am motivated today!

I have just started 2 loads of laundry. Finished a trip to 2 banks. Made phone calls, sent loving emails, mailed netflix videos, took a walk, made joe's lunch, dropped him off at work.

YAY! I'm feeling good. I'm off to make breakfast, scrub the shower curtain, paint a wall shelf, load the dishwasher, vacuum, mop & possibly scrub the bathroom floor.

Good day! I'm hoping if I clean the baby will think oh they're ready... and come out! It's all mental at this point. Whatever gets me through the day.

Tuesday, November 18

End of the day.

Yesterday evening was 1 part disaster. Excluding watching Stargate (which is kinda awesome).

I am a danger to society without a nap, and I have been informed that I need to take one today. Joe informed me that it is mandatory.

I had a "I don't want to be pregnant anymore" break down. No crying, but there was some swearing, and 4 year-old tantrum like body language and behavior. Pretty pathetic.

You try sleeping on one side until your ribs burn (thanks to a 7 pound baby & gravity), then attempt to switch over to your other side. The inertia required to complete this task is completely exhausting. Sometimes I have to even take a break mid-way through my "roll over". If I do complete this in one fell swoop, I still have had a half work-out and am wide-eyed awake for god knows how long.

Anyway. Starting to get that notion that if everyone is an asshole, maybe I'm the asshole?!

ASS-HOL-IO, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPnv8UvKFzc

Monday, November 17

Half Birthday


Today I am 23 1/2 years old- woopy!

I am going to celebrate by not bathing all day and maybe I'll eat one of my homemade m&m cookies. They are very tasty!

Thursday, November 13

22 More Days (excluding today)


When waiting around for things always see the current day as moot. That's what I do! Because today is already here, why wait for it to be over to not count it?

Today was day 2 of the cat jumping into the crib at 5 AM. He did it twice this time. I don't know why he's doing it, but I do know that he's doing it at the time of morning right after he takes a nasty big dump and smells like total SHIT! So! I caught him and stuck him in the bath tub, and yes AT 5 AM!!!!!!!! I bathed the cat (shampoo & all)... he smelled like total poo and if he's going to be the little shit head he is and jump into the crib I'd rather him do it again without poo litter under his paws. Good thing I didn't do laundry yesterday. I'm kind of thinking I will put off re-laundering the kid sheets until it's a little closer since Pee has this really new awesome habit of getting into the crib.

The dangers of cats in cribs is simple. Cats love heat. This cat in particular loves to cuddle up to you while you sleep and by cuddle up I mean lay on you and shove his paws in your mouth. He's a total sweet heart. HOWEVER! There is a serious risk of suffocation when you pair up babies and cuddly cats in cribs. I have a feeling that once the baby is here and wailing from his crib Pee will have nothing to do with the comfy cozy area and will return to our bed or his favorite scratching post bi-level. With the looming risks of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and the lack of facts this very real and very scary unidentified cause of death holds, anything extra in a crib is scary. Especially a big furry shit machine like my cat, Pee Pants. As it is the baby will be sleeping on top of a tight fitting sheet in a sleep sack without any comforters or pillows. There is a crib bumper (which some "experts" will argue on as safe). This bumper is very thin, and though my little boy is active in utero he will not be able to wiggle his way over to the corners of the crib and smother himself. I have thought about purchasing a sleep positioner and have placed one on my babies'R'Us registry. I'm not sure how necessary they are, but if it's peace of mind you want, these can apparently give it to you. The best things you can do to prevent SIDS is keep a nice warm baby friendly temperature in your home where the baby can be comfortable in a sleeping garment only, and place him on his back to sleep. That's the token slogan "Back to Sleep". When a baby becomes old enough to squirm around and can get onto his stomach to sleep and could get OFF of his stomach to sleep (IN MY OPINION) that is okay. I am a stomach sleeper ( OR WAS) and find it the most comfortable position, I understand why babies would too. Until they're old enough to flip around I would go with the SIDS slogan and always be very very very cautious of looming suffocation threats.

Wednesday, November 12

Hittin' the sauce!


Getting WASTED! Just kidding.

On the good advice of everyone I know, and the good ol' docs a-o-k! I am hitting the sauce.

The red wine sauce that is. We're not talking about beating spagghetti, I'm talking about a nice generous pouring of a fine red wine.

About half way into my first glass (first drink I've had since a glass of sangria that had me on my lips in... may?) and I'm feeling relaxed and a bit ... SAUCY! Thank god, I might even sleep tonight.

Taking a bath and lighting some candles. Bound to have a good night!

TCB! Business as Usual.


Today is Wednesday and I'm going to cease the cheese!

I am completing some IKEA furniture assembly. Seriously de-furing the apartment (vacuum, sweep & dust).

I seriously want to burn the cow, (joe's beloved cow hide rug). But! I cannot do that. I do want to roll it up. It makes for 1/3 of the fur that shows up on the black clothes out of the dryer. Since I cannot roll up the cats and put them away... I'll rid myself of the itchy floor beast and bathe the cats.

Other things I need to do:

Plan out Thanksgiving (going with the theory I haven't had the kiddo at that point).
*guests *menu *recipes *turkey?! *entertainment

Re-launder the crib blankets/sheets
(Pee Pants got into there last night.... thought I was going to kill him at 5 AM this morning).

Dishes, Dishes, Dishes. The more I'm at home the more I cook, I am constantly cleaning the kitchen and it is constantly dirty.

Probably should try to plan my wedding. ACK! I really lost wind on this one!

Monday, November 10

Revisiting Child Hood Toys Part 2



For a while Teddy Ruxpin scared the shit out of me. Then I liked him, but I was skeptical of his hard back (the tape player). I enjoyed sticking things in his mouth while he talked, I thought it was pretty hilarious.

Revisiting Child Hood Toys


I had a Pink Popple.

Popples were little creatures with hair and colorful ears fuzzy tummies and long tails with balls of fuzz at the ends. They had a pocket that they folded up in. It attached at their butt and you could flip it inside out and their legs arms and tail would go inside the pouch. I think there was a cartoon for a short amount of time, or at least some illustrated books where they could get into places if the tucked into their pouch and rolled around. I had the one with the green ear and pink ear featured in the middle of this illustration.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie


I found this recipe on the side of my Multi Bran Chex Cereal Box.

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Pie

I have all the ingredients to make it, and am contemplating being a normal person and making it for Thanksgiving, or being an insane pregnant lady and making it right now and eating it all day long.

For the baby's nutritional sake I'm going to ere on the side of caution and observe a healthy eating habit at least until mid-afternoon.

See me in 5 hours.

Friday, November 7

I don't have any stretch marks


So I've got that going for me!

As you can see Ace has bunched up onto one side of the belly therefore leaving a lopsided appearance. He weighs around 6 pounds now! He throws it around too! He's dropped down into my pelvic bone which is referred to as "lightening" and it feels like there's a baby stuck in between your legs- because THERE IS!

Week 36!

That means 1 more week to full term! This baby could come today, which I wouldn't mind. He is punching me in the crotch from the inside! It hurts like hell! Joe's boss told me it looks like twins. That was probably the nicest way to put it, his barber said i was HUUUUUUUGE!

I am a huge lady, there's no freaking avoiding it anymore. I have accepted my largeness. I accept it so much that I stayed home last night avoiding social interaction to watch TV, write thank you cards & wear stretch pants with flip flops. My feet are swollen, my rings won't come off, I'm drinking tons of water, & napping once a day. I fantasize about being slender-er than now. I would never describe myself as slim and slender, but compared to the whale I have become... I used to be freaking slim and slender. I can't wait for my jaw to return, my second ass to dissapear, my thighs to de-thunderize! I'll take some saggy boobies for a cute tiny body, I don't give a shit!

I told Joe this morning that I had a wild crazy dream about partying my ass off and looking cute and being sexy- there was also a frozen yogurt bar involved, kinda have been wanting pumpkin frozen yogurt lately. It reminded me how long it's been since I entertained a semi-flirtatious stare with another person. It's just that being checked out bit, that I found so annoying, that just has really REAAAAAALLY dissapeared from my life. I hate the creepy old men, and the latino chauvinists who do creepy noises grunts hoots & hollers, but BUT BUT! Those little looks, nods, obvious attempts to conceal interest towards the way I look- those are missed. The acknowledgement from another human being that I may just be slightly attractive has left a bit of a void I suppose. I think it'll always be different from now on. Instead of a young hottie I'll be a MILF, and I don't think I'll be acquiring my MILF status for another 6 months, so sign me up for the fat ass committee I'm on it! Here's a picture to give you an idea of how enormous I have become. Getting out of bed- that's a laughable balancing act!

Daily Goals


Adjust budget to include all the new crazy shit we have put into our life.

Accomplish one ACTUAL thing for the wedding. (meaning make a deposit a decision-ANYTHING)

Kanye's Cool as the Kool he's smokin'

Wednesday, November 5

Dear Trader Joe's


Your all fruit trail mix needs more banana chips. The ratio of raisin to banana chip is laughable! I commend you on your use of dried papaya and pineapple far more of a competitive share to the raisins, but the banana chips they really bring the life to the trail mix party and we need to work together to make this world better.

Please I beg of you two scoops of banana chips, the raisins have had their day in the sun- Pun definitely intended!

CarSeats



Today was a momentous occasion. Today... FedEx delivered my car seat! Thank you thank you thank you to our wonderful friend Andrew! Whom just ran the ING NYC Marathon in 3 1/2 hours! Way to go!

So Uncle Andrew got us a car seat that is compatible with our stroller. It is the Maxi Cosi Infant Carseat and it is blue. The stroller we purchased is the Quinny Buzz stroller. We thought we bought blue, but it turns out we bought black/slate which is fine with us since the infant car seat will be the sitting stroller part until Mr. Ace Baby is 6 months old. We will probably want a change of scenery by then, and the black/slate hides more dirt, which Brooklyn just can't get enough of! In fact I just spread new dirt on my window sills today, how great is that exhaust build up, AM I RIGHT!?!?!

The car seat comes in a big box, and inside the box is a big plastic bag, and inside the plastic bag, is the entire car seat. It is already all put together, THANK GOD! And there are no spare parts, accessories, nada! So simplified compared to the stroller, which Joe tackled on his own, that it's TOO SIMPLE! I start to search for the manual. Which is in it's own little hidy hole in the back of the car seat and took me a minute to find. It's all pretty straight forward, but what I cannot understand is the 4 different sets of directions to hook up the car seat the exact same way to the seat belt rear facing in the back seat. It give you different scenarios if you have this certain anti-lock seatbelt set up or THIS certain type of seatbelt. But all together, it's the same damn way no matter WHAT kind of seatbelt you have. The only surprise I got out of the carseat directions is that the infant car seat is supposed to be rear facing at all times. Which mean for the entire first year of Ace's life he will watch the back of the car, never the front. I kinda thought after 6 months you could whip it around, but apparently my "figuring" was incorrect.

Now I need to get some of those nifty gadgets for the back seat so he doesn't get bored out of his mind staring at the black interior of our Volvo.

OH YEAH! we got a new car (to put the car seat in) We thought since Andrew bought us a car seat, we should try to use it as much as possible, instead of in the occasional cab. So Joe & I set out on a week long adventure hunting down the most perfect of all station wagons, the 2009 Volvo V50 Stationwagon. It is silver and lovely and I kinda want to live in it, just a little bit.

So, I have officially become a Volvo Driving Mom- not sure if it will be completed with the "Soccer" part, but maybe that'll wait until I get a boob-job and take up some terrible mom hobby like smoking pot. JUST KIDDING, I dont plan on either of the above.

Creating Accidental Dialogue



WWJD?
I sent out a group email expressing my happiness about the new President Elect (did you hear?!) and accidentally embarked on a trip down family feud lane.

Not even married yet and my over zealous libertarian grandpa is going off to my in-laws about being socialists and not reading the constitution.

I really opened up the fucking can of worms this time. Taking training from my grandma I'm trying to put up a big smile and smooth it over before my grandpa and joe's family start sending private emails telling each other to fuck off. Though I do find a level of comedy out of it, I have never understood how telling everyone they're ignorant and losing rights is beneficial. Especially when they're going to be your new in laws- jesus christ!

Tuesday, November 4

Hiccups for Ace

Ace has the hiccups on my pelvic bone. I know this because its a constant repetitive action where his head is, and it will last a little while. It's kinda funny that he gets the hiccups though he isn't breathing air yet.

I'll take the repition of hiccups to the raking of feet over my rib cage any day of the week!

When Obama Wins



I will be a happy camper.

Click here to see what other options you may have when Obama wins.

Vomiliciously Pregnant BUH!


I am huge. Today I was day 2 of kinda working again. An unexpected death occurred and I needed to help cover for the day care for the week, and watch my boss's kiddos today so the daycare would not be illegally filled with children.

I am tired and ready to stop by 10 o'clock. I have so little energy, and the energy it takes to create enough inertia to get up (from sitting standing or knealing positions) is taxing.

Here is a picture to illustrate the big-ness of my situation.

It's almost 36 weeks, which puts me at 8 months and counting. I can't freaking wait.

And just FYI! I am measuring at normal lengths which means 35 centimeters for 35 weeks on the tummy, so normal sized baby. And I do look fat and I have gained weight, but not outside of a normal amount so far 34 pounds. But I started off above my average weight by A LITTLE! over 5. So whatever you do as far as comments go, don't call me fat, unless you want your butthole to be replaced with your mouth.

Sunday, November 2

Halloween Party





First Costume event was Wednesday for Joe's work party.

We dressed up as Juno & Paulie Bleeker from the blockbuster hit of overly witty teenagers played by none other than people in their 20's.

Here's a pic.

Thursday, October 30

Wedding Dress



This is what I was thinking of going with. Initially I wasn't going white, but as I progressed with watching way too many bridal shows on TLC I decided white is something I do want, but am not married to- HAA- i made a pun.

Let me know what you think, only if it's positive, I can't take negative criticism I refuse.

Wednesday, October 29

Pic from Baby Shower



Before the shit got CAAARAAAAZY! We were the ladies of the night!

Stay tuned for pictures of the baby bottle beer chugging contest, will not dissapoint!

FUNNY SET UP FROM FRIEND

Click Here:

http://www.cnnbcvideo.com/index.html?nid=mZsDmRRRlhsLNEjk2lx7IDU0NjI3NTU-&referred_by=11808984-7gGSvkx

Tuesday, October 28

5 Weeks 2 Days Left


It's 11:50 PM on Tuesday. I just finished sewing joe's gold track shorts for his Paulie Bleeker costume. I found it impossible to purchase these shorts from any sports store online or other wise in the specific color and size I needed them in. (No.... American Apparel did not carry them) I thought it was going to be a 1 stop shopping trip costume... boy was I wrong! Anyway after purchasing 3 pairs of shorts 2 of which were made for an 8 year old and a 6 year old boy and came with a lakers purple large holed mesh t-shirt jersey... I have made medium sized yellow gold men's track shorts.

Joe was asleep and refused to get out of bed to try them on. Not that I blame him, I am ready for bed as well. Not that I could after finishing my sewing job I felt so accomplished I needed to move on to more Suzy Home-body chores/activities. I purchased a baby scrapbook type thing at Babies'R'Us today with my beloved gift certificate I got from Mark & Sara- THANKS!!!!!

So! I filled out all the info with a permanent marker, accidentally labelling joe's mother in his family tree twice ( I 50% blame pregnancy & 50% blame my inaccuracy due to lack of sleep and another 10% to blindness due to staring at yellow gold polyester for 2 hours +) That makes me 110% wrong and I'm good with that. Now I need to find out how to fix it... shit. I wrote him a sweet little letter in the last page of the book and put in as many sonogram photos as I could fit in! I love my little pictures of him growing from this funny doll like bouncy blob to this big boney baby with cute feet. As great as these pictures are, I'm ready for the real thing!

Anyway after a great sentimental bit of filling out all the cute details about my little boy that I already have the pleasure of knowing a bit. I am blogging, because I haven't had the laptop for long enought to blog since Sunday. **tear** I'd rather be sleeping. So I will now go to bed! Good night to all!

blogging from my phone is impossible ahhhh!

Monday, October 27

it's 12:09 in the PM


and I'm eating icecream! can't sleep...

Sunday, October 26

Baby Shower AWESOMENESS!!!!!

Yesterday was the big day! FUN FUN FUN!

It's really awesome to have moments in your life when you are shown how many great people surround and support you! I am so very very very lucky to have great friends who will love Mr. Ace Baby, Joey, & I and back us up when we need it!

So! Thanks to all of the wonderful and awesome buddies that showed up to the PARTY yesterday, I am super happy about the way everything turned out, & am INCREDIBLY LUCKY to know such awesome peeps!

THE SCHWAG WAS FANTASTIC BTW! Pretty much completely awe struck by all the gifts! I feel like I have to get thank you gifts for everyone... cards just seem so not enough!

FAVORITE EVENTS:::

Baby bottle beer chugging contest! Mark Won!!

Baby food feeding contest- totally a tie, but either way so happy that people participated it was the most hilarious thing EVER!

Friday, October 24

Mother in laws to be-know what I like


Joe's mom sent me this:

pairs one of my favorite authors and a shared point of view!


“I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”

- Author *David Sedaris*, on undecided voters

6 Weeks Left


That's right today is the marker for week 34. What am I doing about it? Eating a peice of left over pizza before yoga- it helps my chi.

ha! Namaste!

Monday, October 20

46 More Days


This fat suit is going buy-bye in 46 more days! It's all protein, veggies and fruit after this BABY!


MY BUTT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG!

Saturday, October 18

Friday, October 17

So I took Initiative

I wrote an email to the salon about my bad haircut.

Here's what it said:

Hi!

So! I came in and got a haircut impromptu a few days ago. I was super psyched that I was able to make a same day appointment, and was treated well by all your staff members. I had my haircut done by Chris, he was nice, relate-able.... I had a good experience, and felt that we communicated well. I in no way could complain about anything Chris did, except my cut.

My consultation was good, i thought we were on the same page. I had originally wanted a bob straight across the back, as I am growing my hair out for my wedding and had this terrible awkward style that was the remnants of growing my hair out and not doing a thing to it for 4 months. I knew I wouldn't feel miraculous after my hair cut because I'm gaining weight in my face due to my pregnancy and a bob will just make it look bigger. To liberate myself from the uneven undermullet was my main goal and I knew I would leave feeling much happier than when I entered the salon, as long as it was gone. Chris suggested that there should be a slight gradient, I speculated, but decided to trust him, he looks at hair all day, when I put my hands back and drew the line of where it would go... I thought we were in line with eachother. When it was done, my ugly mullet dissapeared + another 2 unexpected inches of hair. When going over what he had done, Chris pointed out that this would allow my hair to grow out and still keep style. I don't see how chopping an extra 2 inches is helping anything grow. My first reaction to my haircut was joy becuase it was better than what I came in with. But given my heightened emotional state, I cried all night, and the whole shower the next day as when I reach back..... there's no f-ing hair. I now have the quintessential I'm a 35 year old brunette who likes to party hair cut that at least 3 other women that live in my building have had. I'm 23, and I don't want to look "funky" I like the modern and sleek, and now I have choppy like when i was in high school. I'm super bummed, and there's nothing that can be done about it, since the back of my hair is shorter than my bangs, I do not want to change the style and go shorter...... I just wish I had my ugly grow out mullet back and could chop it blindly myself leaving the hair I wish I still had.

I think Chris is a super nice guy, I think there was a gap in our communication. I don't recall ever saying layers....I think we just had a miss with the style sense. I figured after complaining for 3 days I should probably tell the people that it actually matters to and leave my poor fiance alone.

I'm bummed that this was my experience, as I was stoked to find a salon in my neighborhood with a reasonable price point and kind staff. I don't want to play the blame game, it doesn't make me feel any better.... don't know what else to say.

Here are the links to my before and after shots.....
BEFORE
AFTER

Thank you,

Natasha Cobine

did i do a good job???

Karaoke Practice

33 Weeks Today!

I think I'm going to have a gobblin' thanksgiving baby. What do you think?

Here's the fat suit:

Wedding Planning


I haven't reserved anything, but can't help of thinking about little details.

My theme is gold and wildlife silhouettes. Look at these cute little hedgehog chocolates. GREAT party favors!!!!

Thursday, October 16

Not so good haircut= Hysteria


I don't like my haircut. I look life every other freaking brunette over the age of 35. EXCEPT I'M FUCKING 23! Super Soccer Mom Lesbian haircut, thanks a lot. There are several inches of my hair missing from the back and I'm the most dissapointed I have ever been with my haircut. Believe it or not as much as I was made fun of I liked my TLC haircut. This is just cruel.

It's a style, it's not hideous, but it's the most generic hairstyle of the new millenium. It's like getting the Friends Rachel haircut in 98. So what have I done about it? Well... I cried for an hour last night to Joe. Then I took a shower this morning and just touching the back of my head WHERE MY HAIR SHOULD BE... I went into bawling hysterics again. This time it lasted my entire shower, the entire blow drying experience, the entire styling experience, and the entire bang trimming experience- yeah that's right $55 later and my fucking bangs weren't straight either.

So Joe says I should call the guy up and complain. I don't see what the point is, he can't give me back 4 months of hair. There was a miscommunication of how much of an angle, and though after the haircut he said this would be good for the grow out process- how the fuck is cutting off 3 extra unneccesary inches of hair allowing it to grow?

FROM NOW ON I'M GOING TO TALK TO HAIRSTYLISTS LIKE THEY'RE RETARDED.

I WANT STRAIGHT ACROSSED NO LAYERS CUT OFF 1/2 AN INCH MAKE IT EVEN.

I have never been more bummed out in my entire life about hair.

It really helps accentuate my new double chin.

I'm hating on life today. :(