Sunday, August 31


I think about this part of Lord of The Rings possibly every day.

Smiegel says: what's taters precious?

Sam says: Po-Ta-Toes

but it does look like mo naked ho's CHECK IT OUT!

This is the ultimate day maker! I'm a happy FREAKING CAMPER!

Some people go swimming and camping on labor day weekend. I go buy a new mattress and spend 3 hours at IKEA which inevitably will become 8 hours of putting shit together. I am happier with the new furniture than a camping trip. But THIS THIS THIS GIF oh this thing makes me happiest.


Saturday, August 30

Movie Night 2

After a looooooong day buying a new mattress and a 3 hour trip to IKEA I am home.

Making a bowl of brownies and ice cream for joey AND watching Army of Darkness.

AWESOMENESS is taking place.

Baby boy is kicking because he loves this movie!

Friday, August 29

Joe's Drunk Nick Name & My Friday Night Plans

Joe Spewart

I'm so proud of myself I'm a frickin genius. He's going to hate it. You gotta try things out at least once.

I ate too many mini-blueberry muffins at work today- I now feel like a Spewart. YUCK! See how you can utilize the phrase in a plethora of every day situations!

Trying to coordinate a Dinner/Movie with my Gal Pal Frances- I might allow her husband to come over too :) Making Shake'n'Bake Chicken Legs, Roasted Baby Reds, & Corn on the Cob! ~WOOT WOOT~


The Nature's Miracle Cat Litter is a Naturally Pine Scented clumping cat litter mainly produced of corn cob particles. It deodorizes most urine smells, nothing could possible contain Pee Pant's Monstrous Turds. The litter is VERY VERY FINE particles, which are great for scooping, and terrible for tracking. I either need to get an intense anti-tracking litter mat or sleep with cat litter on my bed, it is everywhere. So!

Natural & Hypo-Allergenic +++Dust Free!
Completely Biodegradeable
Doesn't smell awful
Lasts more than 1 week with 2 cats and their torturous poos.

Small particles are freaking everywhere
Doesn't force Joe to scoop it- I still have to do that.
Doesn't contain stinky poops awful stench. Though it does put up a good fight (tough job!).

Thursday, August 28

Xiu Xiu Tonight

Jamie Stewart (joe's BIG BROTHER!) is playing in his band-O Xiu Xiu tonight at the Bowery Ballroom. We had some din din at Whole Foods- YUMMY SALAD $15 $$$$$$$$$.

Show show show, I'm going to see the show. Good news: Baby boy can hear the music! This ought to be fun, until I want to sit about 10 minutes into it. Maybe I'll cut a rug! It's avant garde-y so the dancing looks silly cause you have to stop when there are silent bits, then there maybe some screeching or harpsichord. Either way I'm exciiiiiiiiiited. Takin' baby OUT!

guess who designed that hot cd cover!?!?!!!!!!!

I'm more bound to cut the cheese than the rug- I've been a little lactose intolerant lately and I had a cheese calzone- Joe's in for a fun night! Toot-toot Express is leaving the station!

F Work

I'm sick of working. Probably because I've worn myself out with my home chores soooo much I don't have energy to work. I do have energy to deposit my paycheck- so until that doesn't matter I'm doomed to go to work. It's been difficult to define an exit point with my boss. I'm hoping I don't have to cut the cord on this one, but it's getting more and more irritating as she continues to jump further and further towards October. Baby is due in December yes, this is true, but I'm sick of wrestling down unruly 2 and 3 year old boys while pregnant. In other words, I'm over it.

Biggest news to me is that boss lady is supposedly consciously scheduling next year to work around me bringing my child with me to work. I highly HIGHLY doubt this is really happening, ANNNNNDDDDD I doubt even more so that she's thinking that far ahead of time. I think my coworker was listening to some wishful thinking. This lady is gonna SIGN OFF of that job and go to school in 2 years when my little prince is what I deem "old enough" to start daycare. Until then, I will be an under the radar babysitter and blogger extroadinaire!


Wednesday, August 27


I am done painting the stinking bedroom. It is white like a marshmallow. I am tired.

Now I need to clean clean clean YUCK!

The little baby is kicking. I think he is very cute.

Tuesday, August 26

Updating & Fine Tuning

I have been steadily at work on my baby registries. I added permanent links to this page on the right hand side---------> to my Wishpot Wish List, & my babies'R'us registry. I have picked out everything specifically and researched a lot of my items either online or in store. I think if anyone is having a hard time figuring out what to get, and for some reason I haven't given enough ideas..... a gift certificate either to babies'r'us, target, or maybe a cash card like Amex makes... would be great. Leave the shopping to me if you're baffled! Joe and I do have some spendy items on the registry such as a stroller, car seat, high chair.... the gift certificates would be used towards the more spendy things, or would be left over until after the baby shower to swipe up other necessities.

I know I'll always have a need (at least for the next 3 years) for Gdiaper covers, snap in liners, disposable liners, diaper wipes & diaper wipe refills-i'm using the chlorine free/alcohol free biodegradeables. Diaper cream -Butt Paste. If all else fails buy him a pair of shoes to grow into :).

If you laugh at this and go "what makes you think I'm getting your kid a thing?!" that's fine too :) gifts of any kind should only be given when you want to, and are never necessary. He will have lots of love and that is the most important thing!

Monday, August 25


The Unofficial Date of my baby shower is officially October 11, 2008. This is a Saturday-in October-of this year. I think it will be a unisex baby shower, though maybe guys don't really want to come to these sorts of things. I'm not really sure. I've been making up games to play, like "name 10 gross things about pregnancy & birth", or "find the poopy diaper", of course there's a baby food tasting contest (couldn't get out of that one!) I think there should be a "what is this?" mystery box ( a shoe box with something in it and you feel it and try to guess what it is). It's fun to do this with spaghetti at Halloween.

I just ate so much carrot raisin salad I could barf- maybe that was the homemade biscuits & gravy. I laugh in my cholesterol's face! HA! Don't judge me, I'm going to the gym. Joe can't eat the gravy there's too much dairy in it (I'm eating it to be nice). BABY LOVES GRAVY!

The TV isn't working properly- the cats and I are bored now.


I ran out of paint. It's 5 o'clock. I give up.

To be continued...

Paintin' and Contemplatin'

I'm painting the bedroom today. I bought the paint. Benjamin Moore Aura Paint in White. It's not Ballet White, or Designer White, just white.... no romancing that one!

I have begun the process by removing some objects from the room i.e. dresser, lamps, chair. I took down the curtain rod and all the plug in covers and light switches. I vacuumed up amazing DISGUSTING amounts of cat fur caked under the bed. Moved the skateboards, snowboards, and put the bike case together and shoved it into the closet where it will live now that we've decided to purchase a platform bed with storage drawers.

I love how there are certain boxes you know you will need so you cannot dispose of them. I have a gigantic Mac G5 (that's a computer) box taking up tons of space in one closet, the monitor box EMPTY- in another closet, and an empty bike case in yet another closet. I couldn't possibly put them all together in 1 closet, because i would be storing 3 empty items and nothing else, and that's just too depressing. So far I've been a professional in the art of shoving shit in closets and have escaped purchasing a storage unit. I have a feeling sometime around November (after baby shower) Joe and I will realize we need a storage unit. I've priced, they're spendy- we don't have a car so that raises the question *how do we get the stuff there, and access it there after????* I'm trying my very very best to avoid the storage unit, I might even start parting with some items.

Items I should have parted with years ago but have not gotten rid of yet:

American Girl Suitcase
- This was a Christmas gift from my mom when i was 11- I took it to Hawaii, along with it's matching back pack, teddy bear, and of course Natalie my American Girl Doll look alike. It was awesome- WAS!

Now that I'm 23, it's embarrassing, especially if I'm traveling abroad, I feel like this suitcase is a target for airplane cargo loaders to body slam or "lose". PLUS in my more mature state I have a gigantic HOT PINK Hello Kitty Suitcase to replace it. I am such a grown up.

Computer Speakers

Our apartment is much too small to listen to 2 different kinds of noise simultaneously. Especially if you take into consideration the noise from outside, and the neighbors, and the TV that is inevitably ALWAYS ON NOW! We took down our Bose speakers that were wired into our gigantic ...what-cha-ma-call-it (synthesizer)...the thing you plug all the other things into and use one universal remote for and have all the sound come out of one set of speakers. Whatever it doesn't matter what it's called i have that big box thing, a big ass bose speaker system AND a nice computer speaker system (all with bass woofers) in closets. I listen to nothing but the sound of my cats scratching the litter pan and my fiance playing Call of Duty on his Xbox- what I need is to walk around with headphones or earplugs.

This is how nothing ever gets done, I start a project, then I get hungry, then I think about 10 other projects.


Saturday, August 23

Prenatal Yoga Boga

I did it. I took my first prenatal yoga class today. It was glorious. I purchased a 5 class card, meaning I get to go 5 more times in the next 3 months- SWEET! I get to go because I paid to go....funny how that works :)

We did breathing, discussed what has been hurting and went through stretches and exercises to lessen the strain on our bodies. I left feeling totally awesome, uplifted, and energetic! I'm excited to go with my friend Ha next weekend!

Thursday, August 21


I cut myself cutting celery. I cut the knuckle of my right index finger while holding the knife in my right hand, how does one do that? I cannot figure it out, and didn't even notice until (i think) five minutes later. It's a scrape, it's nada- but still, how do you cut your cutting hand. It's a good thing I'm not an axe murderer. "Armless Axe Murderer Attacks."

Star Wars Stamps

Available online comes in a pane of 15- CLASSIC CHARACTERS!

I'm thinking I want to get these for my wedding invitations! F'n AWESOME!

Wednesday, August 20

Litter Trial 1 update

SO! Pee and Morrissey have both taken turns in the new litter box using Nature's Miracle Pine & Corn Cob litter. Pee poo'd and didn't scratch around for 10 million years- solid sign of awesomeness. Morrissey seemed very happy to have a nice area to turn around in and not have to stay in 1 position to pee (he prefers facing the corner-like time out).

I'm going to make a Carrot & Raisin Salad, I'm thinking I will add almonds-yummy!

Here's the recipe:


HEY! It's WEd-NES-DAY!!!!!!!!! Today is a big day! I get to start the CAT LITTER EXPIREMENT! I have allergies to clay clumping deodorized cat litters and need to find a litter that is odorlocking clumping, hypo allergenic, dust free, and good for multiple cats. I used Crystals for a bit, but they turned Pee Pants' paws blue, tracked all over the apartment, didn't absorb the urine well & it was REALLY LOUD AND CRUNCHY-not dust free either!

The contenders for the #1 litter are:

Nature's Miracle Litter- Pine Odor Control with clumping power!
Ever Clean Fresh Lavender-Carbon Plus- uses charcoal as a way to control/absorb odor, dust free
Ever Clean Extra Strength Unscented- In case the above is not strong enough/ and the lavender causes allergy issues.

I've also decided that the cats needed a new litter box so I'm ditching the covered purple booda and going with a "jumbo" sized high walled blue basic rectangular pan. This way if need be they can do a double dump (joint poo).

I also purchased Iams Indoor Cat food- as suggested by my dear friend Ali- their poops smell bad because they're eating a bunch of filler meow mix crap- they'll hopefully be pooping less in quantity & frequency, as well as pooping less stinky- (my eyeballs won't burn off).

I'm going to put some clothes on and set up the expirement! I'm so excited. It already seems the cats have been eating less- I'm so proud.

Monday, August 18

Portrait of an Awesome Dude

Check out this handsome young buck:

Hormones Were being sneaky not surrendering

Those buggers were being sly, slithering lil' devils. Joe bribes me to be in a good mood with chocolate malted shakes. It almost works :)

Trying to plan Christmas, this makes my eyes tired.

Sunday, August 17


Thursday night it started, Friday night was a dip in the drama, followed by an early Saturday morning hostile takeover. After an ackwardly intense trip to Macy's and Bed Bath & Beyond the enemy surrendered into a 2 hour nap followed by a 2 minute cry fest. Lucky for all involved the hormones have calmed themselves into a deep corner and are hopefully not anticipating after shocks in the near future.

Other crisis avoided today:
-trip to Petco in Union Square (thanks to Joe and the Internet)
-hot sunny walk to Mini Jake kiddy boutique- it's a sunny hot day it wouldn't have ended well....

These hormones are mean mean mean. It's seriously an out of mind experience... someone else takes over and becomes Natasha mega bitch. I don't like that person. 1 more event tonight and then off to work tomorrow. How do I feel so worn out when I only work part time. Who are these people and why are they making me do anything? I shouldn't be allowed to step outside my apartment until after this child is born I am a danger to society at this point.

I would kill for a vietnamese sandwich.

Friday, August 15

6 Months!!!!!!!!!

Technically 24 weeks. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 more months... really it's 16 more weeks if you count a 40 week pregnancy. Maybe I'll be lucky and it's only 14! For some reason the thought of not being pregnant VERY APPEALING! I get to meet my baby sooner, his birthday wouldn't be in December- just as long as it's on his time clock and he's all cooked and ready to go!

Thursday, August 14


I'm doing the laundry and cleaning at home today. I think I'm settling into my nesting period. I've actually been looking forward to this phase in my pregnancy and hope it's a good one and I get alot of things cleaned and organized.


*paint bedroom (from hot pink to beige).
*pay off credit card (shouldn't be too challenging).
*rent storage unit and shove the cow hide rug in it. (the shedding is disgusting).
*remove all rude and hideous things from my neighborhood.
*fumigate Brooklyn (this morning i smelled vomit for an entire block).
*destroy every Harley Davidson within a 100 foot radius.
*create 300 more square feet within my apartment.

I don't think that is asking too much, do you?

Wednesday, August 13

Nursing Bra

Before I go into my overshare I'll say something that's WONDERFUL!

Nursing Bras have been redesigned to be comfy, functional, and sexy! It's important before and after the baby to still be attractive, and after you lose that tummy and all the pounds-thanks to breast feeding. Do you really want to attempt turning on your honey in granny's triple support milking system? NO! So see the link I listed below to view the evolution from frumpy milk maid to sexy mother!


I got a nursing bra....boobs grow, need a new bra, they won't stay this size forever, so I get a bra that i won't use forever. It's nude, not exactly sexy, but it's shape forming so it's on the up and up. But what happens next? While blogging at 1 AM I start lactating-leaking. EGADS! So of course I blame myself for jumping the gun and subconsciously beginning my life as a dairy cow.

Luckily I read in my book this is totally normal. I did freak out and wake Joe up-I said- "oh my god, guess what!" Joe: "GROAN ---merrr-WHAT?" ME: "I'm lactating!" Joe: OH MY GOD! (then he rolls over and goes to sleep)

It's weird when your body parts start fulfilling their function. Especially a body part most people have completely sexualized and focused on and most choose to not use for the functionality but for decoration. I don't feel that way about my uterus. Which if uterus' were looked at like boobs- mine is about the size of a soccer ball right now, so I'm like the Pamela Anderson of uhhhh-sexy uteruses????????????? Yeah, I don't really know where I was going with that one...

Pregnancy Drinking (not me!)

So. In reading a different pregnancy blog, and referring to a conversation from 3 months ago:

Q. Should your significant other stop drinking because you're pregnant?

A. Right off the bat I say NO! To right you slugger you hit one to home plate drink up! What's that? Pay more rent for bigger apartment, another mouth to feed, you're never going to sleep another night until you die? DRINK DRINK DRINK!

I partly knew I was pregnant because my shot and a beer wasn't settling correctly... and it usually always does. I'm very open about the fact I was a party girl and have cut ties with my young drinking life since finding out about this pregnancy. In a lot of ways it has saved my relationship and my well being (my liver thanks you baby).

My beloved partner has made great friends with Don Julio & Corona this summer and though the job promotion may be accutely responsible, I'm guessing our lil cowboy and my hormones have more to do with it than work related stress. I'm more than happy to keep beers in the fridge and vodka in the freezer, I'll even attend a bar or two with friends, coworkers, or family. I would say the only time I've gotten pissy about drinking (and i'm sure Joe would argue this) is when I'm not there, it's in a bar THE LIBRARY on AVENUE A IN THE EAST VILLAGE- where I know the bartendresses and my honey bunny are flirting to the point it makes me want to vomit all over their cutesy free shot giving cleavage bearing chests. That and if it's past 11 o'clock, which in this city is like going home at 5 PM. So, I'm a little testy about it unless I'm present, and when I am present I like it to be contained to a 2 hour maximum. I don't like close talk with drunkies, especially since I quit smoking-yesterday. :) I'm just kidding I quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant and could easily complain loudly on street corners about smokers passing by giving me their 2nd hand cancer :) I love being a hypocrite about cigarettes.

Tuesday, August 12

Crib Decision '08

#1 Candidate & WINNER!!

The Oeuf Sparrow Crib in Birch with a Conversion Kit for the Toddler Bed. $690 + $185=Not Bad

We did it. Joe and I actually sat down and discussed our final decision. Not only on WHAT crib, but WHAT COLOR!!!! woo-hoo!

I feel like a really decisive person. I've also realized that passage into motherhood means taking 6 months to make a freaking decision.

Now onto deciding what mattress. Already I have decided not to purchase an organic mattress, mainly because I'm too cheap and wouldn't purchase one for myself. Dust Mites like organic cotton as well as fully processed chemically treated cotton, right?

I'm also thinking that $350 for a crib bed set (bumpers, sheets, comforter) is a bit overkill.
Is it just me?

Bitch Slap TV

Flipping Out on Bravo
I love relentless pissed off gay home decorators. I am officially addicted. Though I have been watching the show for a while...I'm really IN IT now!!!!!


New Favorite Online Store!!!!!!!!!!


Great modern kids furniture.

Handmade stuffed animals, mobiles, printed shirts.

Pretty awesome stuff!

23 Weeks 4 days

I am so over traveling right now. I think lil' cowboy is too!

Check him out!

Monday, August 11


I finally figured out the colors I want the nursery to be. By nursery I am referring to the corner of my bedroom. WHATEVER!

Anyway..... CHECK THEM OUT!

Sunday, August 10

I Love Lavendar

During my trip to Oregon I stopped off at a Lavendar Farm solely for the purpose of trying their Lavendar Lemonade they advertised every some odd yards before their turn off on the highway.

The farm is located in the Willamette Valley of Oregon they say it's Albany-but it seems more Indepence to me.

Here's the website, their products are amazing and my tummy smells really good since I've lathered it in Lavendar Bodylicious Butter.

Visit their website below!!! You can order dried Lavendar by the pound!!!!

Lavendar Lake Farms

Back Home

Home Sweet Home.

I'm tired, so I'm happy to be home. It is crappy weather so boo!!!! I hope it gets better!!!!

Little Cowboy is kickin'!!!!


Thursday, August 7

Rumbly in my Tumbly

Mr. Baby will not stay still. He is loco and also gigantic. And don't think EVERYBODY doesn't say so!

I may be 5 months pregnant but I appear 8 months.

It is not funny to tell a pregnant woman she is fat, pudgy, chunky, or chubby. Because no matter how pregnant they may look, well I just feel like a big FATTY MCGEE!


Tuesday, August 5

Long Time No Blogz :(

Howdy Ya'll.

I'm bloggin' from out West. Sisters, Oregon to be exact.

I'm also blogging from a PC *gasp*! It will suffice.

1 Wedding down, 1 Funeral to go! It's nice to visit family, they all enjoy feeding the baby.

Best new thing to happen to my belly: Toothless woman screaming "welcome to the planet" into my poor baby's cacoon. She's my great grandma's care giver... not a rocket scientist.

I'll be back to my blogging by Monday, so sit tight until then it might be a while.

Love, Franc Cowboy, or Ace, or Kingsley.