Tuesday, September 30

Sausage & Peppers at the Mets Game (Shea Stadium)

I like to watch joe attempt to open ketchup packets :)

Joe claims this is the best picture of me ever. I will say, it was a good sausage!

Monday, September 29


Betty Crocker buy 1 get 1 free cake mix.

I just ate a whole lot of cake. Fun confetti party cake with pink frosting- yum yum!

I didn't eat a whole cake, just about 1/2 of an 8" round.

This is making me think wedding cake! UGGGGG

For Joe

This is what I did for lunch:

Birthing Class (session 3) "The final adventure"

3D Animation Of Childbirth - video powered by Metacafe

Yesterday Joe and I wrapped up our 3rd 5 hour session of COMPREHENSIVE CHILD BIRTH at realbirth in Chelsea, NYC. Visit www.realbirth.com for info! We bought into the package deal which includes the course- you can choose comprehensive childbirth (the real deal yo!) or epidural childbirth- 99% of all births these days are pain"free". The package also comes with 1 newborn care class, and 1 breastfeeding class. I have not taken the newborn care class, but am guessing it will mainly consist of caring for umbilical cord stubs, freshly circumsized peeners, it'll probably touch on feeding, bathing, sleeping etc.

We were hands down the youngest couple in the course. Not the oddest couple, and probably one of the most loving. It was an odd crowd. From the instructor's queing I think that usually a childbirth class is a place where couples bond and learn, and become friends. We weren't in on the friendly crowd. Though there were a couple of peeps Joe and I would like, it just wasn't in the air. I will say I parted with the class on a touching emotional note. We watched a video- overall most positive of all the videos viewed during class- about squatting childbirth in the brazilian countryside. It was JUST from crowning to birth of the placenta 5 births in a row along with some lovely wooden flute instrumentals. The vibe was relaxed and primal, and the women didn't have anyone restraining them, hooking them up to oxygen, fetal monitoring, or IV's, and no one caught the baby, the baby was born onto a towel and was touched by the mother for the first time! Truly a beautiful and hideous event! I was teary eyed by the end of it. The "beauty" of childbirth was totally there, and it was the only time in my entire life I've seen that. Believe me it's not visually attractive in any sense, there's a bluish baby with a gross cord, fluid and blood.... the beauty is the silent and emotional bond, and the physical struggle that connects mother with child. This shit is going to turn me into a hippie. Anyway, it makes me excited to be a mom and to experience that bond and struggle. In many ways I look forward to the pain, to experiencing something I have not felt before, but anticipated in many different lights. I look forward to the emotional connection Joe and I will have together. He is very supportive and I think taking this class has taught him a lot about the birthing process and the importance of his role as my partner and support system. I have complete faith in his companionship, and though I have a notion of a dought about how I will react to the pain of intense contractions, I know he will help me stay focused!

I think over detailed birthing plans are just that- over detailed. Work it out with your partner, make sure your caregiver knows the specific details. Other than that shut up and figure it out. People who make the longest lists of this and that will probably end up getting an epidural and a cesarean and throwing all that shit they came up with right out the window. Childbirth is not rocket science, obviously, look at all the dummies who've had kids so far! If Nicole Richie can do it, you sure as hell can too, and without a 5 paragraph summary of your perfect birthing scenario. If you're gonna be playing wild geese flocks accompanied by native american flute music and chanting around with sage, stay the hell home and go full blown hippie with it. If you need to have evian flowing from the taps of the shower, louis vuiton towels touching your baby and catrillion thread count sheets under your bloody vag- you totally suck, I hope your kid pukes on your Prada. I figured out what I wanted mainly before even signing up for classes, hearing horror stories, and knowing in my heart how I want my experience to be. The class helped me figure out what coping mechanisms work for me and my body, and how I'm going to apply them to the situation that is my own.

My birth plan: Stay at home until the baby is really ready to come out. My hospital births HUGE amounts of babies each year. If I sit around at the hospital I will be in the waiting room until I am impressively contracting and dialating, which means not comfortable, not fun, and fully public! So! Staying at home being comfy with my birthing partner, calling a car when I'm in intense active labor, going to the hospital having the baby and getting the hell out of the hospital asap! That's the plan stan! No drugs JUST GLORY! :) My friend Frances is going to drive us home. The end.

Official Notice: Baby Shower Official Date- This time it's for REALZ!

Saturday October 25th 4PM
Frances Ferris-Crocker's Glorious Apartment

-that's all the new and exclusive details at the moment.

Though you're all in our hearts (our=joe, nat & mr. baby), if you do not live in the NYC perimeter you're of course invited, however I know you're not going to fly out here to give a present and a pat to the ol' belly. Much more worth your while and your $$$ to wait until the good ol' boy comes out! So don't be offended when you don't receive on invite- I'm not so ceremonious as to send out a bunch of shit that is pointless.

I love you all! And will constantly update you on all the grand news of pregnancy labor and birth.

Mr. Baby says "hi guys".

Friday, September 26

eat donkey mccain

John McCain says "we're winning the war in Iraq"

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure we are.

why should killing be winning?

Keeping Plants alive

So far I have been succesful. I fear this will be short lived.

I have purchased 2 medium sized house plants.

1 is already showing signs of death. I have watered them reluctantly, set them near the windows (but not too exposed)...

I apparently have not potted them correctly and need to repot them with rocks in the basins of the pots for drainage.

shit shit shit. what a pain in the ass!

30 Weeks!

This little boy is going to be out in 10 weeks!!!! He is so healthy that we only have to go to the doctor every 3 weeks instead of every 2 like most do during the 3rd trimester!!

He weighs somewhere in the 3 pound range! His mommy weighs much much more! I gained his body weight in 2 weeks! Apparently I'm to gain 1 pound per week------- I hope I have him at 38 weeks so that means 8 pounds not 10 OH BOY!

He also has a name picked out, but I'm not telling :)

Monday, September 22

Republicans love Chimpanzee Look Alikes


that stands for..

"I Don't Give a Fuck I Still Get My Peter Luger Steak". Pretty catchy!

So far out of Joe doing Man nights or afternoons on sundays I've achieved:

$100 credit to get boots or a jacket ( i don't know if that's still redeemable..i didn't use it on given occasion).

Manicure & Pedicure

Peter Lugers (which really I've had going since last year but I'll stick it in for S&G's)

None of these have actually been redeemed. I should probably take him up on some of the offers!

Lost until 2009

It is a flipping miracle that Lost has lasted as long as it has with all the b.s. it has put it's audience through.

The aggravation of each episode is one thing, but what is truly mesmerizing is they can't quit get the god damn show to be like any other prime time show in scheduling.

Not only do they switch the times and day of the week with every season, THEY CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF SEASON. With the writer's strike creating a gigantic pause last year, you would think they would be writing the shit out of this season in a "we're sorry we fucked up so bad" make it up to the crowd attitude. But no! NO! no! It takes way to long to conjure up the massive shit storm they'll deliver us this year, it takes SOOOO long that we won't even get a splatter of shit until NEXT YEAR! And not even THAT is definite. TBD early 2009 is what ABC's website says of the upcoming Lost season. Ain't that a crock of shit.

Shit storm.
Shit monster.
Dare I say it?
Shit "series".

Joe Stewart is FIRED!

Last night he had "boys night" with his buddies, and I think a slight celebration of our friend Brian's birthday.


Joe has "owed" dinner at Peter Lugers to a plethora of friends for well over a year AND has been a pain in the ass about scheduling said event. He avoided telling me WHERE he was going to dinner last night, said he didn't know- "some place in brooklyn off the J train".................

The dumb ass brought home the Peter Luger imprinted chocolates.

I'll let you all know that I have a big big big craving for peter leugers and have wanted it and have mentioned it, through at least 50% of this pregnancy.

FART-FIG-NEWTON! Yeah, we'll see who ever gets homemade nachos again.

Funny Kittehhhhhhs 2


Where is fancy bread?
In the heart,
or in the head?
-Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder...not Jonny Depp)

Friday, September 19

The Cat's Meow

I've just experience credit card theft for the 2nd time in a year. That's fun! Thanks internet ass wipes! No! I didn't try to buy gas at Sitco today---- in FLORIDA.

Tuesday, September 16

Joe & I with our stache's

We're totally awesome. I hope our baby has a mustache too :)


This is 28 weeks & 4 days, yes I still have 12 weeks! December can't come soon enough!

Tuna Noodle Casserole & Gourmet Icecream Sandwiches

The title may imply that I ate those in that order....that implication is incorrect.

I was released from slavery at 2 ish this afternoon. From there I picked up a pair of joe's pants from SoHo-bought some shaving cream for my beard, and picked up a red rose for my hunnnnny bunch :) Took the subway to DUMBO and surprised Joey Pants!

From there I picked up some Mets printed baby bottles Diane from Huge bought the baby at the mets game we attended Wednesday HA! Thank you! Then got Joe to leave his desk for a mo' to go get an icecream sandwich from the always delicious Jacques Torres Chocolatier. This is a massively amazing chocolate chip cookie with delicious vanilla icecream. It was big and good and I devoured it and was sooooo happy. Until I got off the G train and started walking home with the most massive side cramp. Too much tooooooooooooo much! It was totally worth it and now I'm completely thirsty and am going to try to eat an actual nourishing meal- but WAM BAM! Eat a cookie sandwich!

Now I'm cooking tuna noodle casserole- my Gampy's special recipe with walnuts and peas! I'm sticking broccoli in there too I don't think I have enough peas :)

I feel like cutting my bangs, they're getting too long. Will I do it? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Monday, September 15

How Self Obsessed-Bitches!

Paris Hilton has a new reality series coming up called "My new BFF", where contestants compete to become... Paris' BFF (best friend forever). I can't imagine this could actually work out as it seems her wingmen last for less of a time span than the TV series. Challenges on the show are partying long and hard, 7 minutes of heaven in a room with Paris' whore guy pal & living in a fancy casa having cat fights with each other. OH MY GOD, LIKE AWESOME! Yeah I'm totally watching the Casting special. If you want to watch it........... tune into MTV they advertise it every 25 seconds :)

Birthing Class (session 1)

Yesterday was the first of 3 Comprehensive Child Birth classes. Joe and I took the train to Chelsea got to class 30 minutes late- THANKS MTA!

We were hands down the youngest couple there. I'd say there are some women still in their 20's (some like 1). We had to go around the room introducing ourselves and how we're doing with OUR pregnancy. I went out of body experience and I can't really recall what I said, but I nervously rampaged about this and that and said things incorrectly and the instructor seemed alarmed. Joe was most likely embarrassed AND- i wanted to go home right after that :)

I persevered with Joey right by my side. We sat on mats with pillows, which is incredibly uncomfortable. 5 hours seems like a long time but when you have snack and pee breaks often- you happen to blast right through the class. we watched 2 gnarly births and went into depth about the laboring process, the placenta, and the pelvis and the glorious MUCUS PLUG in your cervix-yummy, who wants yogurt?

The uterus is a really remarkable and ugly organ of the body, all in all it stretches about 15 times larger than it's original size to accommodate the body. My uterus is currently up against my rib cage, which is sooo comfortable!

This morning joe's recap on the class went a little something like this: "If I had to hear that crazy hippie lady go off about episiotomies for one more minute, I was gonna barf."

My favorite thought on the class was the first birth video we watched which I describe as *a hippo giving birth to a leprechaun*. I couldn't relate myself to the situation primarily because it looked like 2 obese teachers I had in middle school, and I just really couldn't get past the thought of "how did these people have sex in the first place?"- seriously there is no arousal out of either side of their relationship it was gross. She was not attractive,not saying you have to look like cindy crawford...but shit she looked like... I don't know, Mrs. Frump Frump with mushroom hair and coke bottle glasses. It did make me feel better about the 25 pounds I've gained, she probably didn't gain anything, her and her partner both looked pregnant.

Next sunday from 12-5 joe will be sitting on mats enjoying stories of pain coping and who knows what else. This class costs upwards of $300, and while I am enjoying the in depth information and answers to my questions- I'm going to keep up with the prenatal yoga for breathing and relaxation techniques.

I have friends!

My friend Caitlin came and saw me in NYC!!! I got to meet her husband Chris! We ate food, and Joe & I took them to "the best bar in New York"....The Library.

Fun times, good visiting! They came by and said good bye today :(

Next weekend I get to see my buddy Laurel!!

You know what this means right?!?!?!? They get happy natasha brownie points!

Friday, September 12

Lil' Kim & her friends Eye & Brow

Lil' Kim has massive pencilled in eyebrows. They are so shiny that I'm kinda convinced they're painted on, perhaps latex airbrush like the playboy bunnies get?! Either way it's in no way adding positively to her appearance. Nevermind the fact that she's completely redone her look, and by her look I mean her face aka rhinoplasty, lifts, lipo, THE WORKS! This being done year or year(s) ago, she still is adding more freaky features and next time you know it she might be sporting a fashion beard. EGADS-fashion forward?!?!?!? Me thinks no!

I like fun!

Thought this was cute! Good illustration, I don't know who did it.

Went to the target designer promo thing in SoHo today. It's a mini store with selected peices that are being added for this fall, and probably some other cool stuff.

They had a great collection of maternity items, and a dwell crib bedding set for $80!!!! That's a slamming deal seeing that Dwell (not for target) costs about $300+ for a crib set, only thing left to buy is the crib bed skirt, and then my collection will be complete muahahaha!!!!

Wednesday, September 10

Funny Kittehhhhhhs

Today had good LOL Cats!


nap for fun!

I'm taking a nap so I can go to the Mets game with Joey and the HUGE design team! WHOO WHOO!

Tuesday, September 9

Wanted: Pedicure

This Hurricane weather may be putting the sun away, but nevermind I still want my toes to looks sparkly and nice. They look pretty shabby, and though I can give myself many many many manicures, I cannot quite do the pedicure anymore, it requires odd positioning and is far less relaxing than it's $20 pro counterpart!

Still afraid to go to a chop shop in NYC for a pedicure tho! quick someone rub my feet and polish my toes!

Monday, September 8

"Wal-Mart Mom" & Vice President?!

Click the link below to read a very well written short article that features an interesting perspective on Gov. Palin and the American outlook.


On the Menu Tonight

Ristorante de Nat will be serving 1 table for 2 this evening.

Dinner Menu


Organic House Salad
Mushroom, Carrot, Cucumber, & Tomato over a bed of Organic Red Leaf
Topped with Bacon Bits & French Dressing

Main Course

Chicken Pasta a la Nat
Organic Chicken Tenderloins pan fried in Olive Oil, Tossed with Pine Nuts, Sun Dried Tomatoes,
Fresh Basil, Mozzarella Cubes, & Shell Pasta


So be patient almost towards the end you can see on the left side of my belly a big blob movement!!!!!! this is MILD compared to all the action this morning, but i fail to get it all recorded.

Sunday, September 7

Not quite a late night

It's Sunday evening almost 11 o'clock in the PM. I cannot sleep. Joe can, and has been for at least 1 to 2 hours. Welcome to my world. Mr. Baby is awake and floundering around, my back is uncomfortable in every position (left side or right side...there are no other options) EXCEPT on my back, which I was getting away with until recently.

Little pregnant ladies are not supposed to sleep on their backs for multiple reasons. Mainly because of the babies weight your uterus will rest against a major vein and cause uneven blood flow and less blood returning to the heart-not good. Sleeping on your back during the latter part of pregnancy can help increase leg cramps, restless leg syndrome, and can make my little baby settle into the pelvis sunny side up (not the correct way). Sunny side up delivery AKA Posterior. Most often than not if your baby is in a posterior position, lately, your doc will scream C SECTION! No spank you el doctor. If you do labor through a posterior positioned kiddo- your back is going to KILL, the labor and pain can be 10 times more exhausting, and OH did I mention- ripping up! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ripping down sounds a lot better, no one wants their urethra split. By no one I mean NO ONE- ESPECIALLY NOT ME!

So guess what I'll be dreaming about tonight?!? YAY! Dreaming at all will be nice, but for now I'm going to read my big gigantic Birth and Beyond book.

Saturday, September 6

Hurricane Today

Hurricane Helen ought to make for a rainy day today. If it's not bad I'm going to walk to my yoga class, if it is bad, I will take the subway to my yoga class.

It's a sad Caturday :( Joey had to work.

But! CATURDAY NIGHT!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO! I might even stay up past Eleven Thirty tonight, I'm feeling a little nutty!

Friday, September 5

27 Weeks

I think I thought I was 27 weeks, last week. I was wrong :) Today I'm officially 27 weeks. This means there is only 1 more week left in this trimester! I can see the end of the tunnel and it looks like 3 more months of being a CHUNKY MONKEY! I'm so sick of looking for a maternity winter jacket it makes me sick.

I would really love some sushi and a beer.

I'm bigger than ever, and I find out how much I weigh next week-yay. I'm currently Starvin' Marvin and am shovelling in some Tuna Noodle Casserole. I might move on to a roast beef sandwich and some cous cous or salad who knows!

The baby boy is kicking my ribs which means that my uterus is at my rib cage EGADS! He is doing freaky alien type belly rolls and kicking in 2 different places at once, truly entertaining, remarkable, and uncomfortable! I love him even more today than I did yesterday! I even contemplated buying special laundry detergent while at the grocery store. I think 3 months is a little early to start the washing of baby clothes, but I did get really excited about doing special loads of baby laundry (I am sick).


Of all the people in the world to make me want to buy a stroller, Kanye West has made a divine intervention on my baby registry.

It's the exact same stroller I already would ike, it just so happens to have a way better appearance & a penguin shaped foot muff- take that glow worm!

It's not available in the U.S. apparently. I've done nothing to figure this out except go to the quinnydesign website and notice that there isn't one english speaking country that sells this, and damn it if I have to I'll get one of the Swedes or Doichies I know to buy it for me- I WILL HAVE THIS STROLLER!

I slept in "slept" then battled DIP SHITS ON TV

I woke up at 6:50 when Joey was going to work- made him a roast beef garlic sandwich & said "Ta-ta". I slept until 9:30!!!! I"m exhausted- SOMEONE- was moving around and didn't want me to sleep.

I'm currently watching Bringing Home Baby on TLC- this couple totally blows. They didn't own a frickin' car seat because they assumed the hospital would give them one- which the hospital DID do, however the daddy complained about the quality of the free car seat- dip shits. I am so happy that I have a competent and loving partner that's not a TOTAL FRICKIN DUMB ASS!
quote: "Josh doesn't change diapers, I don't know, he just doesn't do it." I want to castrate this guy. He is an 8 year old who doesn't know what he's doing.

I'm pretty sure there are about 4 necessary objects you need when you're having a baby.
1. Clothes- you're supposed to put clothes on your baby.
2. Carseat- to take the baby home in
3. Crib, bassinet, blanket on the floor, padded shoe box....a space in your bed.
4. Breast milk, or formula & bottles.

I didn't think that there were people who couldn't possibly wrap their heads around that. Remember they don't give licenses to people before allowing them to breed. The common sense factor is desperate. I think these ass holes live in southern california, after living there for LONG ENOUGH I know exactly what kind of people they are. WHAT------EVER! "like the car seat is not good enough."

Wednesday, September 3

WEDNESDAY ... laundry day?

It's Wednesday and bags are already setting in under these precious eyes. Today has consisted of mediocre insanity. A couple kids pissed their pants at work, almost normal conversation occurred between coworkers, I got to leave at 1 o'clock-AWESOME. All together, not so bad of a day.

54% Humidity today 78 degrees. Add another 10 degrees on because I'm packing another hot hot person and viola 88 in the shade. SWEET! I'm at home currently attempting to clean the apartment. I'm having guests over for tapas and movie night!!


Grilled Basil Garlic Shrimp Skewers
Zesty Lemon Cous Cous with Cherry Tomatoes
Steamed Artichokes with dipping sauces *Garlic Butter & Chipotle Aioli
Roasted Garlic Cloves with Mini French Baguettes
Spicy Black Bean Cheddar Dip with Tortilla Chips