Monday, March 30


I LOVE BATTLESTAR GALACTICA & ENJOYED THE FINALE IMMENSELY! I THINK IT WAS JUST RIGHT. MAYBE THERE WAS A BIT OVERBOARD ON THE LEAVING EVERY CHARACTER'S STORY THOROUGHLY LAID OUT AT THE END, BUT I AM INCREDIBLY SATISFIED WITH THE SERIES. Unlike certain other big network tv scifi series' who leave people hanging for EVER AND EVER AND EVER (yes I'm talking to you LOST !!!)I will say this season has been satisfactory in plot thickening and actually answering some stinking queries set up as early as the first season. { I really want to know what's going to happen now that Ben (boy version) has been shot! juicy juicy juicy!}

And back to talking about battlestar...
I completed the entire series (4.5 seasons) in a very short amount of time due to being in labor and needing to do something, then being in the hospital and needing to do something. Did I mention that the series is so juicy and non-stop action packed that you just can't help but constantly need to watch "just one more episode"!? It's like crack for nerds! Not that scifi nerds couldn't do actual drugs... but this one only has conversational side effects. Which is socially ackward but not nearly as devastating as a drug addiction :)

OK! I guess I'll now have to focus on remembering all the goings on of Lost & perhaps watch Lord of The Rings again... how many times can I watch it? Nobody knows!

Monday Morning

In less than 24 Hours I will be moving... to where????

THAT IS THE QUESTION! So far about 75% of the apartment is packed. I need to pick up odds and ends around the living room, then finish up a miniscule number of items in the kitchen. All that will be left is the bedroom and bathroom.

MC Pee Pants (the kitty) keeps jumping up on the stacked boxes and freaking me out. They're not stacked too high, but they're also not braced for impact every 10-30 minutes either. Cats. They drive me batty!

Pretty sure I've grown 15-20 new wrinkles since I embarked on my cross-country journey to visit my family. Travelling is stressful, babies are awesome, but also very tiring, and visiting with people you miss and haven't seen for a long time takes a lot out of you. I tried to saturate as much time as possible with visiting and in doing so I believe I have what's known as none other than a family hang over. I am BEAT! Still! Mixed with a baby that's still on Pacific time and Husband that's on London time... we've got a battle of the jetlag going on in this apartment. I suppose me downing cups of coffee in the afternoon & staying up until 2 AM to complete the Battlestar Galactica Series doesn't help, and pretty much steals away any justification for complaining.

OK! Off to pack pack pack!

Sunday, March 29


Thanks to some vindictive poo nuggets I do not currently have an apartment to move into on Tuesday March 31st.

We are still trying to pan all things out with the new "new" apartment. Negotiating price etc... I don't know how it's going to happen, but we will have a home to live in by tomorrow night. Miraculous thing about New York is that things do happen overnight!

Alrighty! 2 weeks later and I've blogged- WOOPY!

watching Season Finale of Battlestar Galactica Part 1. I love SciFi.

Thursday, March 12

Bat for Lashes- New Single

New Single Daniel.... I like! It's mellow, not such a bad thing this calm stuff!

negative nancy- ninny poo pants

OK! I ADMIT IT! I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE LACKING IN THE POSI-CORE LATELY!!! Baby or no baby everyone in NYC gets the march madness! The reality of spring not really arriving until May is....frustrating! I have avoided much of the winter by being with my wee one indoors! At some point I have gotten a bit'o cabin fever! It is a sunshiney day & WE are going out! It is still windy & I'll bundle up this boy and head on out! Must take dry cleaning from last year to dry cleaners.... In prep to move I am going through al closets & throwing things to goodwill etc.. found joe's cashmere from last year :) something about the dry cleaners really keeps me away... I just gotta hunkerdown & do-it!

happy Thursday to all this week is taking a long time-----> We will get there!!!

Wednesday, March 11

Oh Billy!

That Billy Corgan... yes I used to like this shiny headed man.

Ode to Vinegar

Red wine vinegar I love thee
Rice vinegar you spice up my chi
White wine vinegar you give my potato salad glee
Apple cider vinegar you don't make it hurt when I pee


Today I am making myself a barbecued chicken wrap. I am starving must get to that lunch before the little man wakes up! I can't believe he is 3 months today! INSANIUM IN THE CRANIUM!

Tuesday, March 10

Vulgar Inspiration That is like so0000 old!

I can't explain how funny I think this is... but it's up there.

Monday, March 9

ace is blogging

To avoid my blog & still keep up to date with Ace you can read his blog.

Now I can stop embarrassing some of my family with my feelings. Apparently I'm mentally ill.

Blog Clarification 101

This is totally my sick attempt at humor & I think it's hilarious... I am not alone!

I am also a first time parent who like us all is trying to do the best that she can. I think that everyone needs to take half of what I write with a grain of salt, this is a bit of an unloading zone for me, a forum to capture what the emotions are of a young woman/mother/lady in Brooklyn. If you want bread pudding recipes Martha Stewart is for you, not Nat!

For those criticizing parents out there, try to remember that there is no way that you were perfect & never made any mistakes, or never felt frustrated or tired during that first year of this amazing roller coaster experience that is being a Mom.

I'm speaking to you Anonymous Commenter from "Where are you Butt Stuff". Before having a child of my own- kiss my ass it doesn't matter if it was planned or not- I worked at a daycare for over a year I have a lot more experience than many first time parents. I was introducing more formula into Ace's diet than he had previously experienced and that slowed his digestive system down- this is fact ask any pediatrician. After less than 24 hours without a bowel movement I breast fed him for 2 days straight & also gave him some water which the doc had ok'd at his previous visit. I have also been told by his pediatrician that I should not call the doctor with concern about absentee bowel movements until 5 days. So suck it!

As far as my post "Going to Bitch Myself to Death" goes:

Do you really think my apartment is THAT dirty? Ace gets a bath daily & lotioned there after & clothed with fresh clean clothes so his exzema stays on the down low. He has clean bottles, nipples, blankets, sheets, towels, wash cloths, bath tubs & play chairs. I'm not depressed, I was exhausted & for the first time all day had a second to sit down. When I did that I realized what a mess everything was (to my standards) and really wanted a break not a chance to clean. A lot of my question was going for how do people do it all at the same time and still look good. I sacrifice the looking good to make sure that everything else is taken care of and sometimes that's sacrificing the boost of self esteem that's required to keep me feeling awesome. I wasn't looking for criticism, I was vocalizing a true question... I don't know how they did it. Sure they did a, b, & c... but I just don't know how. One thing that has been brought to my attention many times is that my mother, and her mother at least had a grandparent or aunt that wanted to help out with the baby. I do not live near my family so therefore depend on my husband to-be to hold the baby for the few hours he's home so that I can get stuff done around the apartment. It is a challenge, but that is life.

If you think something seems out of character or terrible that you have read on this blog, it most likely is being overexadurated for the sake of being funny. I don't take myself seriously, you dear readers probably shouldn't either.

Love to all!!!!!


Sunday, March 8

The dishes are too noisy.

I have clean dishes in the dishwasher and dirty in the sink, but cannot unload. The crashing of plates and thrashing of silverware is too loud and will awake my sleeping boys. The big one will complain!

Sweeping is silent, if you want it to be.

Thursday, March 5

Going to Bitch Myself to Death

At what point does the anger and frustration subside & you just don't give a shit anymore?

I thought I'd already met the end of that rope and moved on. Oh how wrong I was. I'm a full time Mom and unwed Housewife for lack of a better term. How did everyone else keep themselves picture perfect with those big boufant hairdo's makeup & clean house/ all 3 meals cooked? I know it's not the 70's 60's or 50's anymore, but shit, is it just laziness of the next generation? Do I not multi-task enough.. is it the internet & cable that become so distracting that it seems like I've done something & really haven't??? The baby has skipped every god-damned nap today, and is now for the first time taking one. I'm unkempt the apartment is beyond disaster & all I have cooked today is tuna salad. I was attempting to make italian pasta salad but the olives I bought were imported Kosher & taste like balls. At least I know my son is getting tons of love and attention- it shows throughout my place of residence.

Women used to: be up and ready making breakfast... the kids were dressed & ready to eat. Clean, cook, & take care of the kids all day... & still smoke tons of cigarettes & gab on the phone & hit the sauce secretly mid-afternoon. At least this is what I think they did. This is all very stereotypical, so what do I know I'm a product of the 80's. After women's lib hit- women did all that and worked- I think some just got divorced, but I'm sure they still had all their furniture covered in plastic with their green linoleum floors glistening.

So is there something missing in my DNA? Did I not get enough Home-Economics classes? Why am I so incredibly incapable of looking good & making everything else look good too? Is it because I just truly wish I was a bad ass who didn't give a fuck? Is it because I like blogging about nothing & watching reruns of Bad Girls Club? (I'm the new generation of Home Maker- we don't do soap operas, our "stories" are reality TV...If it doesn't have bitch slapping I don't want to watch it.)

I have a dishwasher, an amazing vacuum, no yard, front walkway, courtyard, garage...or outside of house to worry about. Can I honestly blame my mess on not having a washer & dryer? Kinda, it's partially ligit, you can only have so many hampers in a 1 bedroom apartment. It is inevitable that the dirty clothes will overthrow the government of clean before laundry day. So, am I the G-W of my country? Have I failed that miserably? Do I need a socialism makeover? Can I give my apartment the stimulus package of cleanliness it deserves?

No! Who gives a shit, I'm moving at the end of the month. I am the G-W of my apartment, and I'm going to ask my neighbors to crash one of their motorcycles into my apartment so no one will ever notice what a fucking mess it is. Never forget 3B.

Tuesday, March 3


The guy who specially built a bong to stick his 6 month old cat in is one! A BIG A HOLE!

It wasn't bad enough that he's 20, lives with his grandpa... & smokes pot... but he's such an ass that he needs to abuse his cat.

His bail out of jail was a $400 fine- should've been more. Animal abuse is no joke & it's never okay to force anything on animals that isn't cat food, water, or prescribed medication what a DICK!

where are you butt stuff?

can't force my baby to poop. no terdy birdy yesterday & so far a dirty fart particle is all he grunted out. dunno when we're gonna see brown, but if it goes to five days without I call the pediatrician.

Snow Snow A Go-Go!

As the weather prediction becomes reality- it is not my affliction!

It snowed. Sunday night, Monday day & who knows if it snowed last night, I don't think it did. I give up on looking. In Brooklyn it stuck, but it wasn't a whole heck of a lot. People are making a BFD about it. I'm not, I have a car- yes I'm lucky! If I had to walk in it I'd biiiiitch biiiitch biiitch- but I don't so I'm going to braaag braaag braag- hooty hoo!

The converse were still a bad idea even if I only have to walk in the snow a short distance to the car. The rubber gets chilly willy & my toes stay frozen for a long time. Anyway it looks like this white stuff isn't going to be melting in the cold windy weather anytime today, but supposedly it'll be up to 50 degrees F on Saturday. I'm going to get in my bikini & show off my new cellulite & cesarean scar I spell that "S-E-X-Y!!!!!"- don't you? I think it'd be really funny if I got a tattoo under my scar that said, no mom, you were wrong- THIS is where babies come from- HAAH! with an arrow pointing- nothing classier! almost as good as getting Elmer Fudd tattooed to your but with his gun pointing to your crack with the quotation "waaaabiiiit, come out come out wherevaw you awwww!" HUH UHUHHUUUH.

Alright caffiene babble is over! over & out. 10-4 Good Buddy.