Saturday, October 9

Scary Comparisons

Me 2 Years ago at Halloween:


Me Yesterday:


YIKES!

Thursday, October 7

Leather Shorts

I think that this season's big leather shorts phase is a real tip o' the hat to Oktoberfest.

I can tell you of 2 ridiculous things I have seen for Fall/Winter 2010 Fashion.  Mind, when I say ridiculous I mean in the readywear non couture buy and wear to whatever whenever basic outfit shit.

I will warn you now, they're both leather & this is in NO WAY a pro-PETA thing this is an anti-overpriced things I can't wear because my thighs and ass would look RIDICULOUS IN THEM-thing.

1.  Leather Shorts.


I am a proud owner of high waisted velvet shorts.  They're heaven.  I am a proud believe in Leiderhosen.  given my opinions and likes, I should be a shoe in for the new Leather Shorts over tights fall look that is ALL OVER THE FRICKIN PLACE.  I am not.  For many reasons that I would like to enlighten you, my precious and small numbered readers.

a. Shorts are generally a relief to me as I can buy according to the appropriate size of my waist and hips, which is often prevented by the width of my thigh & booty.  Denim and blends are forgiving mostly, this season both of my shorts actually shrunk so they were tighter than usual giver male passers by more chance to rant and rave in their monstrously disgusting ways.  Thank you laundromat.  Leather is not forgiving, it gets weird.  Leather can stretch when warmed but oh baby during fall and winter they're going to be cold as ice and when it's chilly leather can get all crunchy and crinkled  think about the weird thigh lines, ook!  I outlined earlier in this paragraph how passersby of male origin generally factory workers and truck drivers (i live in a warehouse area..there's a LOT of those acrossed the street from my home)  totally hark on me for my appearance.  sometimes if i just put lipstick on.... imagine what leather shorts would create.
b.  I combined this with above.... it's sexual harrasment.  just to clarify a. was being too chubs to look good in them after 1 wear during weird weather temps.
c.  they're FREAKING EXPENSIVE.... pleather perhaps  but that's so Pretty Woman WHOA MAN!  I wouldn't couldn't please beat me to it!

2.  Leather LEGGINGS.


YEAH LEGGINGS, not pants but LEG-GINGS!  As if tight leather pants needed to be made tighter.  THEY HAVE BEEN!  Some are "leather paneled" meaning mostly leather but there's stretchy bits up in there.  which brings up the question, why cost $680???  Huh Bloomingdales?  WHY!?

If I couldn't get my funky ass into a pair of leather shorts, why lord why would I want to attempt leather leggings?  Unless we're trying to create a walking talking human sausage look, please please please spare me.

If i want to stop eating beef so I can wear it, maybe it would work.  But I'd also have to give up dairy, cheese, yogurt, butter, in fact, i'd have to turn to celery mustard and saltines the go-to anorexic diet!

So....

All in all, these are ridiculous, more power to you if you can a. afford them, and b. pull them off!  You skinny booty bitches have at it!  I mean it in the nicest way.  But if I were to attempt to think about wearing leather leggings/shorts I would have to become a vegan anorexic, which in turn would make wearing them moot.

the end.

Friday, October 1

RAAARRRR!!! oh, I mean VROOM!

Remember the "What Drives Edward" Contest?  Preceding the drop of New Moon the second installation of the Twilight Saga, Volvo (the car the main male character Edward drives)  was changed from a little silver volvo -as written in the books- to a GIANT BLACK volvo xc90 and volvo financed a huge sweepstakes to win the new car that Edward would be driving in a series of online games.

I totally played, and so did Joe through puzzles and yada yada to try for a new car and possibly tickets to the premiere.

NOW!!!!  Ford has jumped on the vamp hype wagon and gone after The Vampire Diaries on the CW.  The Vamps Drive you Wild Campaign...  Caroline a supporting character is now driving a Ford Focus with voice command-thanks microsoft :)  Huge promo on the website and shameless in episode promotion.  I watch this online, so I'm not sure what kind of ads they're running during the episode but I'm sure it's enough to choke a donkey.  Their website is definitely pumping up the Fiesta Jam!

Well, good luck with that!  Supposedly they were trying to throw the fiesta at baby boomers who wanted to stay "hip".... but now they're just choking teenagers with $17,000 car dreams.  Still cheaper than the VW Beetle I wanted when i was 13.