NAT IS NAT

I LOVE LEO DAY!!!!!!!!

2011-04-23T10:49:00.000-04:00

I TOTALLY HEART HIM ALOT! i just remembered and thought i'd share.

BURLESQUE

2011-04-15T11:28:00.000-04:00

Not that bad! I truly think this movie did not deserve as many bad reviews as it got.

Going into this movie the viewer needs to be aware that there will be singing and dancing and it's going to be a 'coming into your own' cheesy story. Expecting the worst, I was surprised! I do not think you have to lower expectations to prepare yourself for this movie. You do need to keep yourself from stopping the film after the first 10 minutes. The beginning isn't great. In order to let the audience know Christina Aguilera's character, Ali, could sing, she went into a whole number and it was cheesy and out of context. I cannot stand musicals where one person is singing and everyone on the bus just.. doesn't notice! In a perfect world she'd just be singing to herself ON SET (not big production lip syncing) while packing a bag. All the other singing and dancing numbers were brought onto the stage and it was epic. There has to be a realistic line drawn if you're not going to produce an all out musical all the time no real acting just singing crazy shit movie. But this wasn't and after the first bit, the story moved pretty well, predictable, but hey! DECENT! I liked Cher's character, I enjoyed all the character development, there wasn't a lot of useless information and it all came together in the end. I was really thankful for that. sometimes the plot gets lost in the singing. It wasn't all about the music or the dancing, a lot, but not entirely. I think my husband wouldn't have hated it.

I suggest giving it a chance. It's a good time, the singing is great, the choreography is awesome! AND THE COSTUMES!!!! GOOD GOOD GOOD! AND.... HOT MAN BUTT!!!!!! oh yah!

Lady Diaper

2011-04-14T19:16:00.000-04:00

Ace pulled a pantyliner out of my purse and exclaimed "DIAPER!" I said,"No Ace, that's Mommy's Lady Diaper." It has a better ring to it, I think.

I found this while googling 'Lady Diaper'

INCREDIBLY DISTURBING.

DOLLA BILL$ CHEAP THRILL$

2011-04-12T17:12:00.002-04:00

Today's caffeine enduced frenzy has lead me to the discover that I like coupons, promotional codes, and the general concept of getting more bang for my buck!

I have used promotional codes and gift certificates while online shopping! I saved over $50 on a Macy's.com purchase. This makes me feel thrifty and smart! How hilarious it is when I decide to put an ounce of effort into saving myself a dime. I have really shown it to the man today, and righteously taken the 'system' and made it my muse! MUAHAHA! What a winner I have become!

I'm even considering using coupons at the grocery store! WOW! I feel as if I've ventured into a new place of human consciousness! Saving money, WHAT A FUNNY IDEA! Me, not spend every dime? Preposterous! It's SO crazy it might just work!

Don't be stupid, it's not like i'm going to go to a thrift store for clothes or something. ALAS! Activia is on sale, and I saw a coupon for some Bio Kleen Laundry Detergent.

I'M EMBARKING ON A NEW PHASE AND JOURNEY OF EXPLORATION!!!!!!!

PROJECT FUCKING THE SYSTEM BY NOT OVERPAYING FOR EVERYTHING IS A GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*may need to be renamed, PROJECT USE A FUCKING COUPON, PROJECT FUCK THE GROCERY STORE,.... PROJECT CHEAP FUCKER!- no.... way too close to sheep fucker.

well... you get the idea.

PROJECT BEING CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF THE MONEY I'M SPENDING NOW SO THEN I CAN SPEND IT LATER ON SOME MORE GROCERIES WHEN I'M RETIRED BECAUSE THE SOCIAL SECURITY IN THIS COUNTRY IS GOING TO FAIL LONG BEFORE I COULD EVER BENEFIT FROM IT... HAS BEGUN!

RAGE OF THE DAY

2011-04-08T13:43:00.002-04:00

Today's road rage was brought to me by an Escalade. These vehicles and I do not mesh well. In fact I have 'mushed' with 2 Cadillac Escalades in my life thus far.

On my way to pick Ace up from Daycare there is an intersection where you "stop" at the stop sign and yield diagonally to the oncoming traffic that you merge into on a one way a millimeter before a stop light controlled intersection. It is a tricky little section, but I am not intimidated as I drive by it EVERY day. The intersection of Lorimer & Bedford is riddled with TONS of foot traffic 2 major bus stops a high school and Macarren park all RIGHT THERE.... it really loans itself to backups at times. I am yielding to a man slowly crossing the street diagonally where he shouldn't be when I am practically side swiped by the Escalade that WAS behind me, didn't see the pedestrian and almost ran over the stupid mother fucker. The pedestrian had crossed enough for me to go past him, but right into the line of the Escalades new chosen jack-ass path. So, I started to go, he tried to pass me on the right and kill a man, I stopped and the jack ass KEPT GOING! So, through the green light and to the next red I pull right up to that fuck head and roll my window down, and he asks "why am I an idiot?" He had clearly seen me mouthing "FUCKING IDIOT" to him while I was honking and flipping him off. To this I reply "Because you're not yielding to pedestrians. You're in a hurry to get past me, but I was waiting for the man to cross the street!" In which he keeps trying to ask me how old I am repeatedly. He's an older shit head, and thinks this will give him leverage in the situation. I answer his question " I am 25, and I am a mother who walks through this intersection daily with my child and I want you to drive safer. You're being unsafe for pedestrians." He chooses not to admit his wrong and goes with "WEll, I'm 65 and..." I didn't hear the rest cause I yelled over him "WELL GOOD FOR YOU YOU'RE A 65 YEAR OLD FUCKING IDIOT!" To which he had no response and drove off.

I think I won. BLAMO! To ensure my winning I made sure to honk at him at the next intersection, and flip him off again. In case he hadn't gotten the point that I did not like him.

update on "it's britney bitch"

2011-04-07T15:09:00.002-04:00

she's pregnant, so.. apparently being knocked up makes you chubby. huh, who'd a known.

the thing i don't actually understand is how being pregnant makes you a shitty dancer.

sounds like someone needs to sing more slow love ballads, and less awesome dance songs at the moment.

SO LONG FAT ASS!

2011-04-07T15:04:00.001-04:00

"Hi, my name is Chubby. I have a Mom and a Dad and I like to ride a motorcycle. One day I finally quit smoking and drinking and through sobriety's eyes saw a big FAT BUTT!"

My mission is to work out. I am going to reshape my lower body parts ie butt and tubby thub thunder thighs. They are not how I'd like them to be.

In my mind the end result would be this:

however i forget that i'm 4'11" and i will have a curvy physique.

best i can work towards is not having giant saddle bags and the lower belly. i have a 4 pack and a fanny pack. what's up with that?

Beginning Weight: 114.7 lbs
Each Thigh Circumfrence is 22"
Butt Circumfrence is 38"
Hips 34"
Waist 28"

Work out:
4/5- 35 minute treadmill Ran 2.5 miles, walked 1/2 mile with a 7% incline for cooldown
4/7- 40 minute treadmill Ran 3 miles at 5.5MPH with 3% incline, then 7PMH with 0 incline, and a cool down for 5 minutes with a 10% incline (butts need INCLINE!)

I have to stop eating pound cake this week. I eat 2 full meals a day, and snack before and after dinner + desert! I can wait until 1 PM to eat, but I want to eat all night, even in BED! I have removed the Girl Scout cookies from my bedside basket. I had 1 cup of coffee, breakfast at 10, then a papaya for snack around 1:30. Typing about food makes me hungry. I have an uncontrollable hunger. So, it will be nearly impossible for me to not eat food all the time. I need to at least choose low calorie healthy foods to eat constantly and attempt to fill my 'mental hunger' with water!

GOAL WEIGHT IS 105 AND NO SADDLE BAGS! I want to increase my workout to 1 hour 5 days a week.

swimsuit season is going to be EPIC!

when there's something strange

2011-04-06T15:24:00.002-04:00

in the neighborhood.

So you want to be a writer?

2011-04-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

Twenty-five is a bit old to start finally thinking about college. Still, here I am almost 26 and writing an admissions essay. The essay started off with a righteous bang! Humor, voice and direction. 3 paragraphs of gold, and then.... I forgot where I was going. The story started to turn into a list, rushing through as much information as possible to set up for the point of the story. I was distracted by "getting to the point" so much so that I forgot what the hell the point was. A story is a journey, not a race to the finish. I thought I'd share some of my gold that turned into some long run on sentences and a lot of overdetailed filler. These paragraphs would loan themselves much better to another story.

The story is set on the day of my wedding, I hope someone enjoys this little nugget!

The afternoon turned into a perfect evening, the ceremony was in the Brooklyn Bridge Park with the sun setting on the Manhattan Skyline, right into our eyes. The subways were roaring over the Manhattan bridge, and booty clapping gold lame clad dancers took a break from their music video to allow my wedding ceremony to begin. With my grandfather on my arm we walked through the large group jumbled on the park grass. I shook with nervousness and excitement, I wanted to smile and look at everyone but the ground seemed to help me not cry and ruin all that makeup I had so generously applied. Joe waited for me next to his best man and brother. He looked full of the same emotions that I was, with an added dose of nerves. We held hands and looked into each others eyes as our old and impossible pastor droned on and on, breaking every time a subway crossed the Manhattan Bridge Tracks. I told him "Just keep going," but he was a stubborn old goat. The ceremony ended after 6 pauses with an awesome kiss and as husband and wife, Joe and I lead the wedding party to the reception.

Joe and I hid in a closet and shared a beer while we were announced to our guests. Afterwards Pastor Old Fart made a big ado about signing our marriage license. For what seemed like a lifetime we signed documents,our witnesses signed documents. If you're an alcoholic with kegs of beer on ice and 3 hours of time left to party, you can understand the tick tock of the clock that was echoing through my head. After the marital paperwork, it was on. The karaoke machine was proving to be slightly shitty and our first dance was to a song that was impossible to dance to. Between cutting cake and cutting a rug I attempted to converse with as many people as possible, thanking them for their attendance. I pressured them to please sing a karaoke song, as my Maid of Honor and her husband were just starting up their Meatloaf duet. My brother-in-law, a touring musician, blessed the crowd with his loveable rendition of "Crazy Train" by Black Sabbath. With a pair of scissors in hand he wailed into the microphone while simultaneously cutting loose and stabbing at balloons forcing the wedding patrons to take a step (or ten) back from his performance.

It's Britney Bitch

2011-03-30T11:13:00.000-04:00

The new Britney Spears SONGS, are awesome. Her huge promo's on GMA and Jimmy Kimmel LIVE were great tid bits that her fans have been longing for. Her Jackass skit on Jimmy Kimmel live was good, but I am feeling curious as to what's up with the Pop Princess. Her dancing is at 30% in every performance, and I am 90% sure there is no live singing. I understand a compromise of live performance singing if you're dancing your ass off, but she's doing the dance steps hardly at all. Her choreographers seems to have attempted to maker her look like she's doing more by waving her arms around and strutting cat like up and down the stage. The put her up on some cool props, and there is this really questionable blue rope scene in a dance sequence that is absolutely pointless.

This masked dancing seems almost like they're hiding an injury or illness. She seemed to be full of pep and movement on the Jackass skit for Jimmy Kimmel, but perhaps the pressure and nerves have gotten the best of the popstar. Honestly, as a sober person I feel more up and ready for action, so what is it that is keeping britney tamed during her performances? She is 29, and hugely promoting her 7th album release. Now is not the time to cancel shows on Ellen and dance lamer than when you were on drugs. Britney please please, come back and fuck some shit up with some face biting performances! Her voice is unique and even her sweet talking is cool and the songs are just SO AWESOME! Can we hire a new choreographer? and cut that damn rope out of the performance unless you're going to make a sexy limbo or tight walking thing out of it.

Some Say Love....

2011-03-28T15:17:00.000-04:00

Smurf Shoes

2011-03-16T14:57:00.000-04:00

how is it that the below dark purple space turds are disgusting to me, but I actually like these smurf shoes? I wonder if my husband would still find me attractive in these?

uh? What ARE these?

2011-03-16T14:54:00.000-04:00

space slippers for one-eyed one horned flying purple people eaters. kinda look like a shit with lots of rivets. disgusting.

Kittens

2011-02-08T15:27:00.005-05:00

flower

2011-02-08T15:16:00.003-05:00

Manicure?

2011-02-07T16:41:00.001-05:00

This color is fabulous!
"French Affair" by Essie "soft lavender pink"

I've been attempting to keep nice nails. This is proving very tricky! A professional manicure will last me 2 days. An at home manicure will last about the same, however I will not have the drive to switch over, and usually the polished will be messed up during the drying so the nails were never "nice" to begin with.

The Culprit: Cleaning, washing hands, picking at the polish, breakage, having a toddler, and the original enemy: having to pee while polish is drying and usually wearing something impossible to pull up and down without mushing thumbs!

Tips to keep them nice that I won't use because I'm impulsive:

1. Wear rubber gloves while cleaning
2. Don't drink 3 cups of coffee then do nails

Tips to keep them nice that I will use:

1. When at home paint nails while not wearing pants.
2. If forgotten to remove pants... paint thumbs at a later time.
3. Just get toes done at nail salon, leave nails for at home since it's just not going to last.
-------further on the not getting them done at the salon part: they file the tops of my natural nails and i do not wish that if not wearing polish i look like i've been wrestling with a sand paper alligator.

MY EPICALLY AWESOME Chicken Soup Recipe

2011-02-01T16:30:00.000-05:00

I just made this up, and it RULES!

3 Boneless skinless organic chicken breasts

3 large carrots cubed

3 stalks celery chopped

1 celery heart with lovely leafy goodness intact chop it too!

1 HALF large red onion (or one small) diced

1 HALF large yellow onion (or one small) diced

1 shallot diced

6 large garlic cloves sliced

2 quarts organic chicken stock

2 yellow potatoes

1 cob of Corn cut fresh off the cob

1 can Red Kidney Beans

1 tablespoon Paprika

3 Bay Leaves
pepper to taste

ass load of salt (to taste)

1 tablespoon rosemary

1 stick salted butter

3 cups water

2 tablespoons basil ( i used fresh squeeze kind) adjust to dried or fresh chopped... dried less fresh chopped same.

3 tablespoons "italian seasons mix" ie rosemary oregano marjoram basil sage (mine also had peppercorn echinacea and sweet bell peppers*"herb garden" by elements of spice.

IN A LARGE POT:

Medium HIGH Heat:
1/2 stick butter add chicken breast and seasoning (include some salt and pepper) stirring occasionally until white on all sides.

add onions garlic and shallot, saute until the red onions look lighter in color.

add carrots celery corn potatoes stir around let sit and simmer on medium high for about 5 minutes stirring often to not burn on the bottom.

Add drained can of beans and stir same as above let simmer for a few minutes, then add the Chicken Stock.

Leave on Medium/High Heat until the soup bubbles to a boil stir every so often to ensure all the goodies aren't burning at the bottom. Take the temperature down to Low/Medium and continue stirring at least once every 15 minutes to keep it moving along. add 2 cups of water and apply the lid taking the stovetop down to Low. Simmer for as long as you'd like. Check the taste and add salt and pepper as you see fit, or anything else i didn't measure i just eyeball the seasonings.

I'm thinking of adding wide egg noodles in for chicken noodle soup for Ace. If I do decide to do so I would obviously wait until the very end as the noodles would cook quickly and then dissipate into yuck slime if over cooked. maybe even just cook some separately and add in when served.

BURGER QUEST

2011-01-12T16:48:00.001-05:00

THE JOURNEY BEGINS

Are you FLIPPING KIDDING ME?

2010-12-06T14:33:00.001-05:00

The disgusting eye raping ass toning flip flop has invaded all other seasons.

FIT FLOP (WRETCH) the supposed sandal you can wear and while walking will lift your booty and tone your lower places, is now making clogs *gasp*, UGG style shearling boots *bleck*, and MANDALS (man sandals singing to the tune of Dave Matthews enthusiasts) . I have avoided vomiting all over myself while typing that sentence, but that does not mean I am not insanely nauseated.

I've read reviews of both pro and con on the actual form changing that may occur while wearing these bad boys. To properly research and come to my own opinions and conclusions I would need to buy a pair of fit floppers and then.... wear them. Truly a revolting thought. They have been spotted all over the NYC subway, the wretched sneaker style can be seen on the lovely female office commuter who has clearly chucked the new balance of the past and decided to let her giant tube socks and nylon panty hose live in U shaped soles for the sexy commuter chic. The combination of Eat Pray Love & FitFlop Footwear is the biggest clue of hating penis and loving kittens since embroidered collared sweatshirts were invented.

I can't take it, so I'm sharing my strongest emotions for all to learn.

CROCS are for kids, silly rabbit.

ORTHOPEDIC CLOGS are for the nurses.

ROMAN MANDALS are for the Titans.

FIT FLOPS are for the suckers.
UGGS are for the Jersey Shore and the OC.
MAJOR FUR BOOTS & SHINY platform wedged snowboots.... ARE FOR ITALIANS FROM SPACE!

If you aren't any of the above and are wearing the footwear described. Continue and give up on mating, or seriously reconsider your life choices in footwear.

You will notice Birkenstocks have not made it into the category. I accept them depending on region and weather.

Reasons & Ways NOT to wear your Birkenstocks:

1. If you live in 48 of the 50 US States. IE: Hawaii & Alaska are okay for 2 basic reasons a. you're stoned and it's a miracle you have shoes on or b. you'll get hypothermia and die and I won't ever be at risk of seeing those fucking things on your feet ever again.
2. With Toe Socks ESPECIALLY rainbow toe socks.- NO NO NO!
3. Port-a-Potties at any festival, HELLO PSYCHEDELIC SHIT TOES!
4. If you are a man.
5. You're single and do not wish to be single.
6. On a bicycle, tricycle, unicycle, scooter, elyptical machine, treadmill, stationary bicycle, or segway, or longboard. ESPECIALLY NOT A LONG BOARD YOU DICK!
7. If you were born after 1974 & eat meat.

If none apply... Toe jam on my hippie friend. JAM IT UP!

Thank YOU CITY PARK RANGER!

2010-11-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

Today a man in a lovely green uniform removed what I refer to as "VAGINA VANDALISM" from the swirly slide at the playground.

THANKS!

It was there all day yesterday in lovely black ink. this poor woman had a vagina where her belly button normally would go. So sad.

The Park was chained up and locked until 10 AM this morning. Why is it that the evil teens can get into the playground from closing at dusk to 12 at night, but I cannot get in with my son at 9 AM?

I've requested the parks department lock the park nightly the official way, and never saw any results. Then again maybe this was the result and in turn I have just shot myself in the foot.

We will see what happens tomorrow.

My next venture is to go to the zoning department and discuss the safety of having children play right next to a chicken slaughter house and the disgusting fumes that come off of it directly to the swings.

YUCK!

Scary Comparisons

2010-10-09T13:14:00.000-04:00

Me 2 Years ago at Halloween:

Me Yesterday:

YIKES!

Leather Shorts

2010-10-07T11:11:00.000-04:00

I think that this season's big leather shorts phase is a real tip o' the hat to Oktoberfest.

I can tell you of 2 ridiculous things I have seen for Fall/Winter 2010 Fashion. Mind, when I say ridiculous I mean in the readywear non couture buy and wear to whatever whenever basic outfit shit.

I will warn you now, they're both leather & this is in NO WAY a pro-PETA thing this is an anti-overpriced things I can't wear because my thighs and ass would look RIDICULOUS IN THEM-thing.

1. Leather Shorts.

I am a proud owner of high waisted velvet shorts. They're heaven. I am a proud believe in Leiderhosen. given my opinions and likes, I should be a shoe in for the new Leather Shorts over tights fall look that is ALL OVER THE FRICKIN PLACE. I am not. For many reasons that I would like to enlighten you, my precious and small numbered readers.

a. Shorts are generally a relief to me as I can buy according to the appropriate size of my waist and hips, which is often prevented by the width of my thigh & booty. Denim and blends are forgiving mostly, this season both of my shorts actually shrunk so they were tighter than usual giver male passers by more chance to rant and rave in their monstrously disgusting ways. Thank you laundromat. Leather is not forgiving, it gets weird. Leather can stretch when warmed but oh baby during fall and winter they're going to be cold as ice and when it's chilly leather can get all crunchy and crinkled think about the weird thigh lines, ook! I outlined earlier in this paragraph how passersby of male origin generally factory workers and truck drivers (i live in a warehouse area..there's a LOT of those acrossed the street from my home) totally hark on me for my appearance. sometimes if i just put lipstick on.... imagine what leather shorts would create.
b. I combined this with above.... it's sexual harrasment. just to clarify a. was being too chubs to look good in them after 1 wear during weird weather temps.
c. they're FREAKING EXPENSIVE.... pleather perhaps but that's so Pretty Woman WHOA MAN! I wouldn't couldn't please beat me to it!

2. Leather LEGGINGS.

YEAH LEGGINGS, not pants but LEG-GINGS! As if tight leather pants needed to be made tighter. THEY HAVE BEEN! Some are "leather paneled" meaning mostly leather but there's stretchy bits up in there. which brings up the question, why cost $680??? Huh Bloomingdales? WHY!?

If I couldn't get my funky ass into a pair of leather shorts, why lord why would I want to attempt leather leggings? Unless we're trying to create a walking talking human sausage look, please please please spare me.

If i want to stop eating beef so I can wear it, maybe it would work. But I'd also have to give up dairy, cheese, yogurt, butter, in fact, i'd have to turn to celery mustard and saltines the go-to anorexic diet!

So....

All in all, these are ridiculous, more power to you if you can a. afford them, and b. pull them off! You skinny booty bitches have at it! I mean it in the nicest way. But if I were to attempt to think about wearing leather leggings/shorts I would have to become a vegan anorexic, which in turn would make wearing them moot.

the end.

RAAARRRR!!! oh, I mean VROOM!

2010-10-01T13:24:00.000-04:00

Remember the "What Drives Edward" Contest? Preceding the drop of New Moon the second installation of the Twilight Saga, Volvo (the car the main male character Edward drives) was changed from a little silver volvo -as written in the books- to a GIANT BLACK volvo xc90 and volvo financed a huge sweepstakes to win the new car that Edward would be driving in a series of online games.

I totally played, and so did Joe through puzzles and yada yada to try for a new car and possibly tickets to the premiere.

NOW!!!! Ford has jumped on the vamp hype wagon and gone after The Vampire Diaries on the CW. The Vamps Drive you Wild Campaign... Caroline a supporting character is now driving a Ford Focus with voice command-thanks microsoft :) Huge promo on the website and shameless in episode promotion. I watch this online, so I'm not sure what kind of ads they're running during the episode but I'm sure it's enough to choke a donkey. Their website is definitely pumping up the Fiesta Jam!

Well, good luck with that! Supposedly they were trying to throw the fiesta at baby boomers who wanted to stay "hip".... but now they're just choking teenagers with $17,000 car dreams. Still cheaper than the VW Beetle I wanted when i was 13.

oh no.

2010-09-28T22:20:00.002-04:00

i saw this costume and thought it was a Jon Bennet costume.

HOLY SHIT HALLOWEEN

2010-09-28T22:07:00.000-04:00

This is effing ridiculous.

like... this white kid... is michael jackson. hahahha

Ace will never be a dead black dude turned white dude for halloween.... unless we're talking Darth Vader. I love my own jokes.

I don't know what his costume will be this year, he was Fire Super Mario last year. hmmm.....

any suggestions?

REALLY BIG ECLIPSE

2010-06-30T12:20:00.000-04:00

I went to see Eclipse (The third installment of the twilight saga films). Last night-opening night!!!

got there 40 minutes early (stupid) should've been 1.5 or 2 hours early.

paid mega bux for IMAX tickets and sat in the FRONT ROW.

my glasses frames were not large enough to fit the screen into view. I was doing panaramic side to side head bobbling the whole time. egads.

I think the movie was good, but all i could see was the pimples on Kirsten Stewarts chin, the overdone makeup on Robert Pattinson and THE WORST WIGS EVER! shieeeet.

for something that i've been waiting for for.... oh a loong time, i was entertained but kinda baffled.

no more big big screeens for me. i'm going friday with some lady friends to a smaller regular theater, i'm sitting in the frickin back and i'm gonna enjoy the HELL out of it.

the fight sequences were good. i expected a bit more scary intensity from the naughty vamps (but maybe it was just too distracting to be staring at whatever was on top of Bryce Dallas Howard's head).

The beginning of New Moon will still be the best most epic begining of the Twilight series if you ask me (which you're not).

In closing. Eclipse is a would watch again movie for me, and though the screenplay writing detoured minimally from the original book, it didn't interfere. The movie had a good pace and they packed it in with every detail possible in correct order from the book.

i need to reread some of the ending of eclipse i'm pretty sure that Bella didn't cut herself in the fight scene with Victoria in the book, but now i'm just not sure. pretty sure Riley died way sooner and edward kicked V's ass before the cutting blood shit could happen.

like i said need to reread, currently unsure if memory is serving correctly.

go see it and tell me what you think!!!

TWIHARDS.

Lame Mom Rap Verse 2

2010-06-25T15:01:00.002-04:00

When I turn my Iphone on
It lights up all white

Shit man, that ain't right.

Not Cool Mom Rap Series. Verse 1

2010-06-25T13:38:00.002-04:00

My hair is pink
It don't stink

Recognize

RoBert pattinson much pAnts!!!

2010-06-17T21:43:00.002-04:00

Need I say more?....

Maybe, he'll be filming a nude scene for his next film!

Uhhhh can you say "closed set"??? No way hotta have a cell cam in there somewhere!!!

Ro

2010-06-17T21:41:00.001-04:00

Harry Potter Fanatic!

2010-03-31T11:41:00.001-04:00

I have read all the books, loved the movies thus far... and own ONLY ONE!

There is a movie 1-6 box set from Amazon I have my eye on... It's actually less expensive to buy the box set, than to supplement the other 5 movies to my collection.

Perhaps I'll sell/give away my singular copy and replace it with the boxed version.

There are still 2 movies to come (The 7th book has been put into 2 seperate screenplays). Book 7 being as massive as it is Movie 7 part 1 will come out this year, and the second installment will be next year, I think.

Guess I've just not been keeping up loyally with my Harry Potter blogs...WHAT! I do read them from time to time :)

If you are a Harry Potter fan, here is a link to the box set on Amazon: HARRYYYYY!

If you are not a Harry Potter, but want to become one.... here is a link to the book set: BOOOOKS!!

The movies get better and better, and in my opinion, so do the books.

If you have little patience for anything here is the 30 Second Bunny Theater Part 1:

and Part 2:

Bad BABY!

2010-03-29T12:38:00.000-04:00

Ace has figured out to open all the drawers... all the "JUNK" drawers.

Which means every sharp object... tack box cutter stapler etc is sitting in a box on top of our desk and on a daily basis the drawers are all emptied out onto the floor.

mischief! SEVERE MISCHIEF! My little bad boy has 9 million cubbies full of toys and he would rather sort through envelopes spare headphones usb sticks and so on.

Worst part of this is how he has figured out how to get the caps off of markers.

specifically large brown markers:

he also just shut down the computer during this post.

it's raining, we'd usually be at the playground, but instead we're destroying the apartment indoors.

AHHH!

Neice & Nephew

2010-03-29T12:23:00.001-04:00

Olallie & Atticus:

It is absolutely impossible to not totally love these kids.

Little Kitty

2010-03-26T11:45:00.000-04:00

Last night we lost our beloved kitty pal MC Pee Pants.

The snuggliest nuzzling kitty with a chill hang out attitude died yesterday evening from unknown and sudden causes. He will be missed and loved forever.

Pee Pants was rescued as a kitten from the Orange County Animal Shelter in Orange, CA in December of 2005. I picked him from a litter, he was suckling on another cats neck. Pee was the cutest cat I've ever seen, and the sweetest cat I've ever known. At 5 years old he had lived in Costa Mesa CA, Brooklyn, NY and Portland, OR. It is hard to know the cause of his immediate departure from the earthly realm, but he was not always "all there" and being the runt of the litter it most likely was from completely natural causes. Living in a house that is baby proofed it would have been tricky for him to have access to chemical and chocolate, or anything that would cause a sudden kitty fatality.

He is survived by Morrissey the Cat, Ace Stewart, Joe Stewart, and Me.

Farewell sweet furry baby!

Ace and Ma

2010-03-21T12:53:00.000-04:00

Here's the 2 of us fine dining at the KFC/TacoBell a few weeks ago.

Just an FYI Taco Bell is advertising for their new shrimp tacos "6 shrimp 1 taco"-- my thoughts are 6 hours 1 toilet. Meat that comes from a bag is one type of gross that you can come to look forward to every once in a while, but shrimp-whoa!!! What could they possibly do to it yuck yuck yuck! Stear clear!

TV!

2010-03-11T17:04:00.000-05:00

Since the fall, I have watched this much TV: (not lost actually i watched that over the last 5 freaking years with a question of pay off, i admit!)

Breaking Bad Season 1 & 2 (thumbs UP)

Dexter Season 1,2,3,4 (1 & 2 thumbs up...3,4...eh)

How I Met Your Mother Season 1,2,3,4,5 (for easy entertainment, NPH YAY!)

Glee, Season 1 Episode 1-13 (it makes me gag from time to time)

V Season 1 Episodes 1-4 Current (replacement for battlestar galactica?)

Lost Season 1-5th Current (i think i'm going to croak before i get some answers)

Mad Men Season 1,2,3 Current (don't know where it's going from here!)

Weeds Season 1,2,3 Current (love it love it want to see more)

True Blood Season 1,2 Current (way off in the writing from the books -sookie stackhouse series by charlainne harris----but! i still totally dig on it! lots of vamps lots of sexy stuff and hilarious southern accents, vampires that sound like fog-horn-leg-horn-HA!)

Californication Season 1,2,3 Current -growing a bit weary. i like me some Davey D.

The Vampire Diaries Season 1 Episodes 1-15 loving this--- want to watch more, CW-please stop placing the episodes so far apart, hello! it's a hit! ~now i need to read the books

Nurse Jackie Season 1 Episodes 1-12 loving it! will watch more!

The Wire- Season 1,2,3,4,5-----!!!!!!!!THE SHIT! I recommend to everyone!

Full Length Twilight Saga Eclipse Movie Trailer

2010-03-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

Here it is:

I am looking forward to the dvd release of New Moon later this month (3/20/10). June 30th is oh the horizon *eclipse is on the horizon* i can see it in the distance, woooopity woo!

YESS!!!!!!

2010-03-10T14:06:00.002-05:00

Awaiting full trailer to come out as preview during Remember Me, but a 10 second sneak peak of: Twilight Saga- Eclipse

BRRRRRRR! It's COLD!

2010-02-10T12:48:00.000-05:00

SNOW STORM! Woke up to an inch, went to the car to drive Joe to work, 3 inches.

Got home from taking Joe to work... 4 inches, I think it's 6 now.

Here's a link to the Blizzard Warning that stands until Thursday for Kings County:

BLIZZARD

so:

*phone is dead
*at home
*Joe is at work
*BLIZZARD

This means that, I'm making chili and staying inside. Ace has just gotten used to going on afternoon walks around the neighborhood, so this will be a tough afternoon for us both. I'm going to hope that conditions stay mild so I can pick Joe up from work and bring him home safely. But he may take the car or subway home instead.

I wish everyone a warm afternoon indoors!

Chicken

2010-01-29T12:16:00.000-05:00

Baking Chicken in the middle of the day. Wooooo! Party!

Ace is so energetic, he's walking everywhere, turning into a little man!

I think we're entering some serious toddler territory. Walking, mimicking, faux talking, opening doors!!!!

Nap time is happening and The Vampire Diaries is on, so I will part with very very little to say.

adeu

LOLFBMOMENTS!!!

2010-01-19T10:57:00.000-05:00

This is much more pleasurable than actually having a Face Book page.

I do it to keep in touch with my friends but I mostly do it when I'm bored. HOWEVER not facebooking and reading other people's very hilarious and messed up overshares is far better!

Amongst thousands of hilarious facebook posts this is my favorite:

Also in love with the posts declaring a girl is pregnant (this is how she told her boyfriend)... The 2 teenage girls talking about how much pot they're going to smoke, then her mother catching her in the planning stage (parents being friends with kids on facebook-hilarious)!!!!!!!!!

if you have hours to waste... do it at lolfbmoments.com!!!!

Top Favorite Songs of the Moment

2010-01-17T22:41:00.000-05:00

These are mostly from the New Moon Soundtrack, which is so amazingly (surprisingly) good.

	08 - new moon soundtrack - bon iver & st. vincent - roslyn - saga twilight.mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

	Q Lazarus - Goodbye Horses .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

	04 - new moon soundtrack - lykke li - possibility - saga twilight.mp3.mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I can't have nice things

2010-01-17T21:45:00.000-05:00

it's true.

i can't have them i can't keep them. half the time i don't fucking want them.

when i really really want nice things and i splurge for them they get lost, stolen, broken... eaten? OBLITERATED puked on. pooped on. anything. it really always happens

do not give me anything that you'd like given back to you someday.

seriously. don't do it. if it looks like it will stain,or is easily breakable, don't give it to me. if there is something that won't make it past the 3 month marker for still being desirable i will throw it away so don't give me that either.

i like things that go up on walls. i need things to hang up. i also need a used metal filing cabinet. a dresser. a wall and a door. i would also like a claw foot bath tub to fill with koi fish.

so what.

happy january 17th. I am officially too fucking old.

OH HAI!

2010-01-17T10:24:00.000-05:00

HOLA!

Haven't blogged in a while.

It's a glum hum drum morning here in Brooklyn this Sunday.

Ace is feeling better, he had a phlegmy cold and a fever that has definitely broken. He is not lithargic, he's feeling full of personality once again! HOOO-RAY!

Drinking coffee and enjoying the pleasures of a laptop in the living room.

Taking my dear friend Sara to Olive Garden today. We're gonna talk pregnant lady stuff over endless breadsticks. Can I do another HOOO-RAY?---- YEAH!

Not too much else going on. Pondering staying in our apartment or moving to a different one. The amenities are amazing, but the price is not. We love Greenpoint, so unless we could get something in DUMBO, I think we'll be sticking to the High West of Brooklyn. Our Little Poland.

All in all things are nice. Husband fantastic, Baby not sick, Me... working part time and busy all the rest. I can't wait for the heat and sun of summer, but woopty woop I can't fight with the Calendar, alas it is January, and will be for a while still. BAAAAHHHHH! or should I say BRRRRR!

Very well then. Ta-ta, and be happy :)

blizzzzzzzzzard

2009-12-21T13:41:00.003-05:00

went out in a blizzard. it was cold.

I love when the internet loves you back. (Or me back). Yes, that's it: I love when the internet loves me back.

2009-11-25T19:13:00.000-05:00

It's my blog, and I say we are going to laugh about this.

NOW LAUGH!

i need a beer.

ah the summer

2009-11-19T15:11:00.000-05:00

it's getting cold...

i wish these sunglasses weren't stolen from Joe's desk at HUGE! WHO DUN IT?

Crap A Doodle Pumpkin Noodle

2009-11-12T16:25:00.000-05:00

I am bored. There is cleaning to be done. No need to vacuum while there is a sleeping baby. Only works to put him to sleep, well it would be rumored that running a vacuum helps lul a child to sleep. For Ace it's the dryer, which is convenient as I am in a constant state of doing laundry. The vacuum excites Ace. He chases it, attacks it, rides on top of it. When the vacuum is put away he finds it and with squeals of joy climbs all over it.

I wish I loved my vacuum as much as Ace does.

The dishes the dishes, oh such dishes to be done.

Who are these dishes? Did I make them dirty? Surely, not I. Oh wait.

IT WAS ME!

Pea Soup you were a bastard to my clean house. Bran Muffin fed to the baby, how dare you! Meatloaf, delicious meatloaf, you are a mess too. But delicious oh yes, so gooooooooood!

Blah blah blahhhhh.. I have no insight into the world, just into my household. That is the insight of cleanliness (or the lack of). All I know now is that silence is bliss, all too soon with my home be booming with baby talk, vacuuming, and dishwasher madness.

I miss you Joe Stewart, see you soon.

i would totally listen to this band

2009-11-11T16:41:00.001-05:00

if only it existed!!!

And so do i.....

2009-11-11T16:38:00.000-05:00

Who hates halloween and wants to babysit?

2009-10-28T18:01:00.000-04:00

We will be dressing Ace up and going to an early evening baby party :) No trick or treating yet.... babies can't have candy!

But the later hours will be spent sitting in front of the TV while Ace sleeps. Wondering if there is anyone I know who hates Pagan holidays, dressing up, going out. Because I love them and would like to enjoy them, and also drag my husband along in the festivities.

Still haven't figured out what Ace is going to be.

Chucky. Jack Sparrow. Harry Potter. Ron Weasley. Napoleon Dynamite.

I will be: Lady GaGa:

Robert Pattinson to be on Ellen

2009-10-28T16:55:00.000-04:00

November 20th!!!! The same day as the 2nd twilight movie New Moonhits theatres. I don't have tickets to the movie yet, but I may have to dvr this Ellen interview if Im busy standing in line!

I cannot wait! But I must!

New Moon Trailer

2009-10-27T12:08:00.000-04:00

Last night while watching Family Guy I got a glimpse of the NEW TV New Moon (Twilight Saga) movie trailer! I was in the kitchen making dinner, and couldn't help but let out shrieks of happiness and excitement! It looks freaking AMAZING! The trailer featured a few never been seen bits and I tell ya! I cannot wait.

I purchased 2 for $14.99 Regal Cinemas tickets from Costco! Though I was planning on using them for Where The Wild Things Are... I may not get a chance to go to a movie until Nov. 20!!!

Seriously serious cannot wait!! The anticipation has been building so much so that I could burst! I have kept myself off the internet scene of trailers and gossip to keep it a surprise! I didn't even watch the crazy extended trailer they played at the VMA's just for this purpose. Right about now I'm really thinking about breaking all of that and going bananas with sneak peeks. I shan't. But I reeeeeeaally want to.

I need to get the Sookie Stackhouse series to feed the need. I have 2 new books to read, thanks to Jamie Stewart. I really should pick them up and work on "Project Distraction". These little fall months have been wizzing by, which is awesome and also terrifying.

Though I want time to fly so I can see the movie. My little Ace is getting so big so fast I cannot stand it! I am enjoying every new phase and missing the old ones as well. With new teeth on the move the nights have been a little sleepless. If only sleep weren't necessary, think of all the things we could do?

last week rerun

2009-10-26T15:57:00.000-04:00

The Vampire Diaries was a rerun last week. Nothing could be more painful.

Many things are more painful. I'm exadurating. Most everything i say is exadurated. Not totally, and definitely not fabricated (i'm not THAT imaginative). Exaduration in emotion. That is the crime I have been guilty of.

I haven't smoked for almost 24 hours. (this is where I admit that I had started again). Somewhere along the husband out of town and the mommy 24 hours and the car accidents wedding planning.. ya da ya da. It never ended when it was supposed to.

Oh cigarette addiction I despise you. I would rather buy a new pair of winter shoes. I need a new cardigan, mine is ripped. So long cigarettes. You are bad for me. I do not want premature aging anymore. Turns out I do care.

nope. not ready. nope.

2009-10-26T15:51:00.002-04:00

the car.

the car.

the car.

stupid car.

it's not your fault.

who's fault is it?

NUTS4LAX

NUTS4LAX

LAX IS NUTS.

FREE GUGGENHEIM ON 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT BUILDING!

2009-10-21T12:02:00.000-04:00

Today there is free admission (usually $18) to the guggenheim in Manhattan. Tonight in honor of the beloved museum the Empire State will be lit up in "Guggenheim Red". Curious if it will be the same red it always is, or if they purchased special bulbs ;)

Anyway, thinking about going after Ace's nap. Wondering how many people will be there on a Wednesday?!?!?

Today exactly 50 years ago the New York Guggenheim opened it's doors. Though they have a full year of 50th anniversary events planned, this is perhaps the most significant of days.

Here are the special exhibitions that are featured currently that you could see free today:

Kandinsky
September 18, 2009 – January 13, 2010
Organized by the three largest holders of Kandinsky’s work—Munich’s Lenbachhaus, the Guggenheim Museum, and the Pompidou in Paris—this full-scale retrospective of Kandinsky brings together over 100 paintings and is the first major show of the artist since 1985.

The Deutsche Bank Series at the Guggenheim
Anish Kapoor: Memory
October 21, 2009 – March 28, 2010
Memory, a major new commission and site-specific installation by Anish Kapoor, challenges the museum’s architecture through its improbable scale, measuring 47.6 x 29.4 x 14.7 feet and weighing 24 tons. As the fourteenth commission of the Deutsche Guggenheim in Berlin and the Guggenheim Foundation, the installation presents a new milestone in the artist’s career with his use of Cor-Ten steel.

Intervals: Kitty Kraus
October 9, 2009 – January 6, 2010
Conceived to take place in interstitial spaces or beyond the physical confines of the building,Intervals is a new contemporary art series designed to reflect the spirit of today’s most innovative practices. Berlin-based Kitty Kraus is the second artist invited to create new work for this succession of solo presentations.

I believe there is also a film of the "past & present" of the guggenheim.

I know I will not love anything at the Guggenheim more than Cai Guo-Qiang:

I will definitely see the empire state tonight, but perhaps this afternoon I can enjoy the "free day" as well!

visualize nothing.

2009-10-20T16:08:00.000-04:00

I am trying to come up with a solution to the constant clutter of my apartment. Essentially it is a cleaning issue. I am never quite able to complete a full cycle of laundry at once. Meaning, wash, dry, then fold. What happens is large pile of dirty= large pile of clean. With a major lack of storage and little money left after bills to purchase furniture this is an ongoing problemo.

I'm seeking a zen like approach to my problem solving tactics. I am visualizing nothing in my apartment. I want to play furniture scramble and come up with a way to not buy anything but create the apartment I want.

This is possible, but I will say it would be easier if I had some hampers a filing cabinet and some mounted wall shelves.

Also: free contractor who wants to build walls and put up doors for pennies.

Maybe I should apply to some nightmarish design show on HGTV.

Oh. My. God.

2009-10-10T18:09:00.001-04:00

Never mind the reason why... but I googled "yo mama" and switched it over to an image search... this was on the first page.

SO GROSS.

Cold, Hot, Cold

2009-10-05T11:40:00.000-04:00

The weather in Brooklyn has been interesting! Sheer panic took over me last weekend when we plummeted into the 50's! Then this weekend it's 70! I'm going with happiness on the warmer days! Rain was kinda nice for a bit, but it reminded me to really enjoy the nice days while they are still among us!

Panic mainly for buying winter baby clothes. Ace is growing so quickly he is almost completely out of pants that cover his entire legs! The other issue is one of shoes. The child dislikes shoes with a vendetta. I am unsure exactly why, but the only shoes that have worked at being put on and kept on are Robees. This is because they're more on the elastic mocassin side than rubber sole and laces shoes. He has 4 pairs of cute shoes that he cannot wear because his feet have outgrown them, don't fit into them yet, or they are impossible to get onto his feet as he curls up his toes and makes it absolute torture to attempt shoe wearing.

Because of this I've decided these 3 pairs of shoes will be needed for the winter. I will not give up on "normal" shoes with him as he is on the verge of walking and I do think a hard rubber sole will help him with his balance!

#1

#2

#3

2009-10-01T20:32:00.001-04:00

Watching The Vampire Diaries on PIX, they just were talking about twilight whatever...! I am watching it... For a fix, but truly November 20th is what I'm waiting for!!!! Yay New Moon!!! For serious!

La Boom

2009-10-01T16:40:00.000-04:00

very cool

2009-10-01T11:27:00.000-04:00

I want my stairs to look like this!

yikes.

2009-09-30T15:57:00.001-04:00

i don't like my update, but i'm too tired of messing around with it to forfeit the rest of nap time in front of the computer for a redo.

it will have to suffice for a day or two.

Joe is coming home today.

2009-09-28T15:18:00.001-04:00

need to vacuum

2009-09-26T15:46:00.000-04:00

Cleaning is no longer filling in the gaps of boredom. I'm tired, not bored. I have been cleaning since last night. It was more fun last night because I was drinking margaritas while cleaning. This time, not so much of a party.

It is nap time, and when one takes a nap certain outbursts of dishes clanking together, scrub brushes on tile and boxes clanking and scooting from hither to thither are disruptive. So to not wake baby I will not do these things until he is awake. I will note that cleaning, organizing and sorting is more difficult with him awake as he would like me to be cleaning, moving, and sorting him with his toys than watch me doing boring things from his bouncy chair. The outcries of unhappiness are really disconcerting to a cleaning lady/mom.

I have realized that windexing mirrors is a chore that I just stopped doing. I'm not even sure I have any windex left. Perhaps that would be the reason behind the drop in mirror cleaning.

A positive cleaning experience of the last 18 hours worth of effort is that I have finally counquered clean laundry mountain.

this is good.

more to do, and now the boy is crying awake.

OOOOKAY!!!!

happy weekend!

MTV VMA Scandals (& Scoundrals)

2009-09-14T10:36:00.000-04:00

So, I watches the VMA's lastnight. Kanye is an idiot, & messed up the glory moment for Taylor Swift, the honoring of Michael Jackson, by being a vindictive attention whore & his chances of winning at least 1 VMA, which Joe & I speculate he actually did win, but a last minute decision ( and a good one) at the last minute changed his award to be given to someone else.

He had a great hip hop album and single, but he screwed himself so big!!!! Idiot!

I'll be a fan of his music but not a fan of him for sure!

Lady Gaga was awesome, I loved every minute of her perfoance!!! She rocked the party!

The Michael Jackson speach intro to tribute by Madonna was a bit long & indulgent, but I think it all needed to be said!

The tribute itself was A-lazing, it sent shivers all over, I was feclempt!

All in all it was good!

The new moon trailer was sooooo long & too revealing! I kept covering my eyes and turning away. I did this several times because I had to see, but I didn't want to ruin all the anticipation of being good & not ruining the movie for myself!

I can't wait for November 20th!!!!! I'm sooooooo excited!

20 pages from

2009-09-13T20:24:00.000-04:00

Finishing Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

I'm into it!!!

watching the VMA's in 30 minutes!

Best Email

2009-09-08T17:04:00.000-04:00

Joe emailed me this from his iphone today. It was a picture he took of something on a wall at the company he was presenting to.

Seriously. I heart this hard.

3 things i'm doing

2009-09-08T16:50:00.001-04:00

1. Finishing Treasure Island, ( I started reading it a year ago, set it down and.. forgot) How could i forget to finish this book? It's EPIC!

2. Playing Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii, 17 stars so far.

3. Watching Wolf with Jack Nicholson & Michelle Pfeifer. Totally awesome. Senior Consultant at a Publishing House turns into a sex crazed werewolf and finds out James Spader is nailing his wife, so he pees on his shoes.

HILARIOUS!

These are all good things.

3 Other things:

Laundry, Dishes, Blogging.

3 Things I will not be doing today:

1.showering

2.mopping

3.killing the cat (though it is tempting) Morrissey is a vile and evil feline. He insists upon yowling at high volumes during naptime, and if he's not doign that he's sharpening his claws loudly on a cardboard box. I have never disliked a cat so much.

Reading

2009-09-03T13:40:00.000-04:00

I'm back on a reading phase. Well, I've been on one, but now that the wedding is over, I am in it to win it :)

Currently reading a non-twilight book, though there is a connection (since it is by the same author) "The Host" by Stefanie Meyers. It's interesting so far!

My next reading extravaganza will be the Sookie Stackhouse books.

I'm really vampin' it up these days.

Go Vampires, WOOO!

Then, I think my pal Frances & I might engulf ourselves into Anne Rice.

After that, I think a healthy does of Jane Austen is in play and to finish off that reading fest I will read the now on paperback Pride & Prejudice & zombies.

yippee ay- AYE cow patties!

I LOVE JOE AND NATASHA STEWART

2009-08-22T13:13:00.000-04:00

We got hitched.

It was an amazing evening in DUMBO Brooklyn!

This lovely affair is my excuse for not blogging!

August 14th, 2009 in Brooklyn Bridge Park, Joe & I shared vows with eachother in front of teh best friends a family members a person could hope to have!

thank you to everyone who blessed us with their presence, help, support & love!

this is why i've left my blog to die.

2009-07-31T11:45:00.001-04:00

sad, after the wedding I will pick this up a bit more. :(

http://www.joeplusnat.com/

are you kidding me?

2009-07-01T15:04:00.000-04:00

i love otters.

this just really did it for me today!

I watched 2 movies that weren't Twilight yesterday

2009-06-30T13:47:00.000-04:00

I still watched Twilight, with video commentary, because I was curious. I am so totally into Catherine Hardwicke. She is very passionately descriptive, and her excitement is captivating, not to mention humorous! Robert Pattenson's additions to the commentary were few and far between and mostly irrelevant but comical, Kristen Stewart is a bit more serious and she pays mind to the movie and drops little bits of relevant fun facts, as well as giggles and comical hoop-hoorah. I'd imagine it's difficult to watch yourself doing something and then talking about it... in an akward public-self-admiring way. I suppose actors that are super into talking about themselves and how well they completed each scene is ..... a bit twat-ish. "I was so amazing in this scene, I was like ["oh baby i love you so much"] I really nailed it, I'm so gooooooood!"

And onto the movie reviews:

ON DVD I watched:

The Wrestler

Starring Mickey Rourke, Rachel Evan Woods, & Marisa Tomei

Plot: The Ram (mickey rourke) is an old washed up WWE style wrestler who can't give up the lifestyle although he's well past his prime, he wishes the 80's never ended. Drinks too much shoots up juice & spends all money on steroids & lap dances. Lives in a trailer, fucked up his relationship with his daughter Rachel Evan Woods, and has a heart attack after being stuck by barbed wire, window panes of glass, a staple gun & body slamming someone off a ladder. The closest person to him is a stripper (Marisa Tomei) whom is too old to be attracting customers for lap dances & is planning to retire as a stripper to be a better mom.

After the Ram suffers his heart attack he has bypass surgery and is told he cannot wrestler anymore. He tells the stripper because no one else gives a shit, and she tells him to seek out his daughter cause she doesn't [or shouldn't] give a shit either. He kisses his early 20's late teen daughter's ass apologizing.. it's heart wrenching. He coaxes her into allowing him back in her life, then goes and does a bunch of blow, f's a chick and sleeps through his next date with his daughter. She tells him to fuck off, then he decides he's going to wrestle because no one gives a shit about him but his fans. The stripper decides she gives a shit about him, finds him just in time to stop him from wrestling and inducing another heart attack. He's already made up his mind, he goes and wrestles and i'm guessing bites the big one, but we don't find out, we just assume because the screen goes black and what seems like 10 minutes later the credits roll.

I liked it, my jaw was dropped at least 50% of the time, the scenes were mainly horrendous and so gut wrenchingly real it makes you want to walk out of the room.

Next Movie:

Control

Starring: No one I can name off the top of my head, and i probably wouldn't recognize a soul unless I was a UK dweller any-hoo!

Plot: The story of Ian Curtis & Joy Division based on the writings of Deborah Curtis, Ian Curtis' wife.

Review:
I think the portrayal of Ian Curtis was very well done. Not that I knew the guy, but the dancing, singing, and general emotion in the acting was impressive. I knew more about the band than the person... so I learned quite a bit from the movie. It was put together well, and I have passed the judgement that I do not respect the way Ian Curtis chose to live his life and treat the people around him. Suicide is heart breaking, and selfish, but what led him to that point was a lot of struggle with epilepsy & a self induced love triangle. I found the film captivating, though I already knew the story, I still wanted to watch & find out what was going to happen next. I like the fact that the story of Joy Division has been told throughout multiple movies and views, it creates an interesting whole. ( i don't know if this makes a lick of sense...) I kinda had to pull this out of my ass really, I didn't have much to say about it, I mainly just wanted to talk about the wrestler.

Obsessed vs Posessed (boys...)

2009-06-24T16:38:00.000-04:00

In 1 week I have read four and a half books. Not just any books either.

I read the Twilight series. I was addicted to it as much as I imagine my friend's ex-boyfriend is addicted to heroine.

After I finished the books in a freakish frenzy, I rented the movie on itunes. It took 6 hours to download which made me incredibly hasty and hostile. After I watched the movie 3 times it expired.

The first time I watched Twilight, I was instantly ridiculously into the star Robert Pattinson. It was obscene reliving my 13 year old style crush feelings (what I once felt for JTT {Jonathon Taylor Thomas}, Devon Sawa, Leo {Leonardo DiCaprio}, Johny Depp, & Matthew & Joey Lawrence).... that list could go on. I knew I had a problem.

so I watched it 3 more times... got kinda sick of it, and turned to the internet. I imdb.com'd him.... learned I'm only 352 days older.... and then I found something that helped me stop feeling like a giddy school girl. He (robert pattinson) played Salvador Dali in a film that didn't hit big this year... the mustache was enough. I have mad respect for Dali, and I'm totally down with taking challenging acting roles, and the mustache was totally necessary for the part-i just don't have to like it.

It's so funny to have this silly feeling for some dude. I'm a mom and I'm getting married.

The truth about the crush was really quite simple to figure out. It was the character that I fell in love with, learning so much about Edward Cullen, spending a week reading about the romance chivalry and ludacris amount of passion he held for his love... did it. SWOON! Anyway.

Robert Pattinson is a total hunk for sure, thought so when he was in Harry Potter. It's criminal that my now 2 favorite book saga's and movies include him in them.

Don't worry I'm not going to obsess anymore. I'll go along with thinking he's handsome along with Johnny Depp, the dude from The Science of Sleep... and the dude from Lord of the Rings. Man what is it about books into movies hot dudes? gets me every time.

I have my very own Barry Pepper (Joe Stewart) and I'm INSANELY HAPPY WITH THAT. though I didn't show it through my less than aware self existence last week, I think joe got about 5 words out of me- a rarity I hope he appreciated, the loud mouth is back.

THERE IS A GOD DAMN LUNATIC SINGING IN ...is it italian? outside my window on the sidewalk during Ace's nap... (exercising self control in 3, 2, 1 commence self control).

well that thought is over.

all done.

baby food mill

2009-06-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

made baby food without boiling today. it was nice. less mess.

Baby shower pot luck

2009-06-06T22:58:00.000-04:00

Attended a baby shower in Pelham, NY today. Decided I want to live in a house away from the city, but not too far away.

Brought store bought spinach dip and veggie platter. Not my finest donation to a party... but it's been rainy week and without the car or my umbrella (which i finally found today when it's sunny) there weren't a lot of great grocery shopping adventures this week.

The house was great, the sun was shining, the baby was happy to be out of the car. Gave some great gifts & found a new home for Ace's outgrown clothing. Dined on mini BACON cupcakes! Not part of the diet. Individual mac n cheese cups were cool too! Things like that make me thing I should be able to cater my own wedding (LUDACRIS)!!!!

Currently at home watching Muppets take Manhattan. Kermit has amnesia :(

The baby is asleep, Joe is asleep, I am next I suppose.

Happy June

2009-06-01T11:55:00.000-04:00

It's JUNE DAY!

ha!

Father's day is around the corner.

Ace now own's Ralph Lauren clothing thanks to his honorary Uncle Tony's Aunt Na.

I bought my wedding dress. It is powder pink. How do you detail in your wedding invite that the "don't wear white to a wedding" rule has been switched to powder pink. I would totally crap my pants if someone wore my dress to my wedding. I'm going to have it semi-formal so maybe... that will lower the risk. I honestly don't think I know anyone who would wear the dress (is that a bad sign) other than myself. I think it's just a testiment to how much the dress is "me". Let's hope.

so much wedding work to be done. Invites will be sent to the printer today! TG!

Now on to scoop cat poop!

As the world turns, these are the days of my life with cats.

TOOT GOES THE FLUTE

2009-05-20T15:30:00.000-04:00

Sara is playing the red icy pop flute. A favorite instrument of Brooklyn Birthday Parties!

I am 24

2009-05-19T09:26:00.000-04:00

yep. 1 year away from 25... almost half way through my 20's. AH!

I'm a very different 24 than I suspected I would be. I think I have done enough smoking/drinking etcetera to really allow me some rather sober years in my 20's. I do not mind it. I love my baby and am very excited to get married this August!

I feel safe, secure, and happy. 23 was pretty nuts, I would like 24 to be more on the mellow side, but I'm pretty sure any year you get married is pretty crazy!

My beloved Maid of Honor Ali has assigned me a deadline to purchase a wedding dress. This is good. May is a really crazy month and full of stuff! I am realizing that if I don't get a lot of things done by the end of the week (as far as wedding planning goes) I just won't have enough time to get it done period.

YIKES!!!!!!!!!

This week:
wedding dress
wedding invitations
hunt down starwars stamps
find balloons
florist
schedule cake making
find dj or karaoke set up.
furniture
bartender
caterer.

i will do possible 2 of these things this week.... realistically.

ok!

I'm 24 my baby is 5 months old I'm still 20 pounds overweight. My apartment is finally put together. The washer and dryer work. I need to brush my teeth. I keep skipping the shower part of the day.. which is disgusting. I started my period for the first time since the baby and ate a ton of chocolate sheet cake. It was delicious. I am now 25 pounds overweight. I can't fit into a size 6 skin tight stretch dress it made me look 6 months pregnant. I have to buy running shoes today. today today today.

Wedding Dress

2009-05-12T16:35:00.000-04:00

I think it's down to 2 dresses.

Here are pictures of both... let me know what you think.

I am going for a non-traditional semi-mod/early 60's look. Also something that won't show every bump or will help smooth out said bumps- no need to set my goals too high for dieting!!!

Cat Terds

2009-05-08T15:18:00.000-04:00

I clogged my toilet with cat terds (turds is apparently the correct way, the computer's spell check DOES have a preference) today. Maybe if I used the flushable cat litter this wouldn't happen. (apparently flushable isn't recognized as a real word)

So I talked to my Mom on the phone & plunged & plunged & plunged. I am still not sure if it is totally unclogged this downstairs toilet is a tricky one. As long as it is not continuously running while clogged it poses no threat to my downstairs. This has resulted in 2 floodings of the downstairs last month- NOT TO BE REPEATED!!!!!

I suppose I will revert to stuffing them in a bag and shoving them off to kitty terd heaven down the garbage chute. SHOOOOOOOOOOT!

Microwave

2009-05-08T10:24:00.001-04:00

I haven't used a microwave in over a month.

there isn't one in my new apartment, I haven't purchased one & the hotel I stayed at in Virginia didn't have a cup that wasn't styrafoam or plastic so.... no microwaving! My lymphnodes & irises thank me.

I heart my nerd

2009-05-05T18:01:00.001-04:00

joe stewart

xbox

cinco de mayo

headset

Day Cinco of Mayo

2009-05-05T17:53:00.000-04:00

It is the 5th of may which means: celebrating MEXICO!!!!!!!!!! I did so with some franzia box wine, a car & a baby... not all together, and not in that order.

Just returned home from North Carolina- I had never been down south...excluding 1 adventure to Disney World ( Hope to return again!)!!!!

The south was lovely and full of calories, shin digs, and family events, not to mention humidity & insects!

I can't type all that well because my interest in computers is waining as I am baby free and feelin' the ol' box de vino at the moment.

Carry On... Carry On...

JOE STEWART IS 31 TODAY!!!!

2009-04-30T09:28:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday JOEY!!!!!!

Sadly... he is working and it is overcast out there :( But we have dinner plans and will have a good time with or without the rain :)

cockroach in the apartment

2009-04-29T18:19:00.000-04:00

Morrissey was hunting something while i fed Ace a bottle.... I thought I saw a large almond like shadow making it's decent from my fridge/freezer to the floor. When he pounced I knew it was not a mirage. Morrissey caught the cockroach and took it downstairs... for what reason I do not know, but when you catch something, you always have to take it else where. So he took it down stairs with Pee Pants trailing him full of curiosity. He laid it onto the black rug for investigation and I'm only assuming consumption or attempt of. (Morrissey has failed in attempt of consumption many times in the last few days. He attempted to attack kill and eat 2 of my seeweed tamarind brown rice cakes resulting in one heck of a mess. He attempted to eat Joe's sausage egg and cheese on a roll this morning but only got the bun off and didn't even get a chomp out of the sausage- he's not good at figuring out what part of the sandwich he wants. He pretty much mangled my 1 left over bite of burger but didn't eat anything out of it. So it is needless to say... the cockroach was still alive- OF COURSE. So it takes off and I yell out quit loudly "Holy Shit!" scare Ace, and I absolutely do not faze the cats both of them are going hog wild with their new toy. So the damn thing scurries in a circle toward the baby stuff and i'm going oh shit oh shit oh shit and running upstairs with the baby and putting my motorcycle boots on pronto. That's my reaction! Better go put my boots on....!?!?!?!???? Well I knew I'd stomp that lil' fucker if he came near me so I guess it is kind of a good thing.

So judging by the way the cats are stalking and investigating the giant pile of laundry under the stairs... He (IT) is in there somewhere. Wish it was still upstairs that way there is no threat that the cockroach will be snuggling with me in bed or even worse with the baby. I feel as if it's on my shoulder and behind my ear all of a sudden. EEby jeebies are here to stay.

Alright this squirm worm baby has had enough of the blogging!

Reporting cockroaches in the building.

This is my first New York Cockroach by the way.

deposit on wedding venue

2009-04-29T12:50:00.001-04:00

august 14th is the day. so plan for it!

washer & dryer

2009-04-29T12:28:00.000-04:00

apparently I needed to get a 20 amp washer & dryer not a 30 amp. i'm happy I finally found this out from my landlord so I can have the wrong washer & dryer inside my apartment taunting me.

tequila

2009-04-29T12:27:00.000-04:00

don't drink it.

this is a ranting shitty and negative blog about my day so far... it has sucked... royally!

2009-04-28T16:16:00.000-04:00

drove joe to work. cut self on stroller. child took huge dump in car. changed diaper in bathroom at starbucks. joe forgot his lunch in stroller. went to his work in skin tight spandex running pants. wasn't easy. went for a run. then power walked. then sprinted. finished sprint at where car should've been. walked to brooklyn navy yard. waited 3.5 hours. had to get joe to come since the car isn't in my name. wouldn't let me get the bottle out of the car to feed my child. hung out in spandex. 2:00pm ate first meal of the day when i finally got home. baby had full meal. 4:00 baby to first real nap of the day. I hate nyc. I hate nyc's cops. I hate nyc's system. I hate never being able to be fully clean....ever.

melt down happened during bottle feeding. Luckily I contained myself enough to feed baby and get him to sleep.

washer and dryer are to be installed tomorrow. at what time i don't know because they called joe instead of me to confirm installation/delivery. there is a mountain of laundry. i still have to go to the laundromat today because joe needs clean clothes for client meetings tomorrow. i am making a security deposit on my wedding location today at 5 pm. when am i supposed to do anything else? i have no clean clothes that fit me.

this is a really lame blog and it is the only way i could get it out without..... shaving my head. I learned not to do that anymore.

i am not going to do any favors for at least 24 hours so don't ask.

#2

2009-04-25T11:54:00.000-04:00

I ran twice this week! Sick of being fat!

Dear Fat,

go away.

Love,
Natasha

Non-Smoking

2009-04-23T13:14:00.002-04:00

1 YEAR SMOKE FREE!

Non-

2009-04-23T13:14:00.001-04:00

Dear Aunt Joyce

2009-04-23T12:37:00.001-04:00

I walked 2 days ago and ran today.

End of report :)

Emails

2009-04-23T11:44:00.000-04:00

I like this picture I was emailed today. Subject: "It's getting bad out there".

We need to start talking to our pets about drugs.

Thanks Diana :)

Flor Tiles

2009-04-22T17:17:00.000-04:00

No I did not mis-spell. Flor tiles are awesome. They are also the fix to the frozen toe syndrome I currently suffer from in my new apartment. Concrete + tile + basement=BRRR!

This is the color I would like. This particular carpet tile is called Fedora I would like it in above color (chartreuse) & it is made from recycled materials.

Happy Earth Day.

T Minus 7

2009-04-22T17:14:00.001-04:00

7 days to washer and dryer delivery/installation.

COULD I BE MORE STOKED?

NO.

UG! This lady!

2009-04-22T15:47:00.000-04:00

This article is so vomit-OSE!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/22/opinion/22dowd.html?_r=2&partner=rss&emc=rss&pagewanted=all

It is a given that any article in the "Opinion" category of The New York Times will be opinionated. However, this article is so pathetically rude, bitchy, and catty, it's plane old unworthy of being printed. Just because Twitter is a hot topic of the moment does not mean that any article written about it should be printed for more traffic on YOUR website New York Times (I'm talking to you-do somethin' about it).

The insanely rude attitude given by the writer during her interview must have been unnerving, hence the exit of co-founder half way through. I'd have bigger craps to dunk than to complete that interview. The author Maureen (MAWWWREEEEEEYYEEYEEN) seems honestly horrified by her lack of understanding of the internet and fear of her way of life after newspapers bite the dust. For her I suggest becoming a dishwasher as a back up as her brain is clearly clogged with enough uneaten table scraps to fill up an entire article with this mumbo-jumbo garble. Do I really need to go back to the article and count how many times she took a jab at Biz & Evan about limiting each twitter to 140 characters? Barf lady BARF!!!! I don't normally condone drug use, but you need to take a chill pill and sit on the internet for 24 hours and see what happens after you've read the Real Simple website & scoured Zappos for discount orthopedic sandals. You might just find yourself wanting to open up a facebook account and a twitter account and link the two together because it's kinda neat to do.

The biggest thing that blows me about her poor attitude about twitter & the disgusting manner in which she conducted herself throughout the interview is::::::::

A writer who is interested in continuing to be a writer most likely needs to adapt to the times. Update dude! You can flourish if you choose to utilize the technological tools that will network you, your writing, your life, & the rest of the world. Your audience can be created & grown using the internet as your lil' buddy :) Twitter can definitely help you by allowing you to post all your articles as they are published. The closed mindedness of our author was shown very clearly with her blog loyalties, as if only one forum for writing is allowable, especially since in blogs you're allowed more characters. Poop!

Well I like to write & I am not educated in literature writing or journalism- so I will Twitter my lil' heart out.

Friday Nice Day

2009-04-17T16:41:00.000-04:00

It is a lovely day today! I exercised... I made tuna salad (yum!) The weather has jumped past tolerable into delightful territory- I'm flabbergasted! I honestly had to focus on happy thoughts (such a challenge).

Kind of want a head massage?!? Is that weird?

I have worn exercise clothes all day long. This is my strategy for looking good. If I look like I'm working on my weight then it's almost excusable :) Truly I'm a work in progress and have noticed a change in the butt thigh region solely from going up and down the staircase within my apartment. It seems that my phone is always on the opposite level of the apartment that I am on whenever it rings... kinda a good thing :)

Happy Friday to All and to All Happy Friday.